I hate that people really don't get this Tebow thing

A pier 6 brawl almost broke out at my weekly poker game last week. Friends who gather together weekly to escape their wives and families for a few hours of male bonding, were about to come to blows over this thing called TEBOW.

You know how people say don't talk politics or religion unless you're ready to go to war. Now TEBOW has become the third entry into the war cocktail. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone takes a side. No bystanders. It’s visceral.

Tebow is a lightning rod because of his faith. Angels love him. Devils hate him. But is it that simple?

The Broncos didn’t do Tebow any favors taking him in the 1st round of the 2010 draft. Pretty much everybody thought the Broncos over-reached to select him. They gave up numerous picks to get back into the 1st round to grab him.

Then Josh McDaniels, the coach that had faith in him, was fired last season. In 2011 Kyle Orton won the starting job but sucked so bad at the start of the season, that the Broncos had to give the job to Tebow. And all Tebow has done is WIN.

He wins, epically, ugly, atrociously, mind bogglingly, bafflingly, electrically, religiously.

The scientists love him, and the artists hate him.

After arguing the Tebow thing all during the poker game, we then took the argument to the Internet. We found articles supporting our arguments and sent them to each other. And when the Tebows miraculously beat the Bears last Sunday all hell broke loose. We got no work done on Monday. It was Tebow emails all day. Which led me to send this email.


“My 2 cents. He's like a handicapped, retarded, underdog, Rudy. He is "excelling" at something he has no business excelling at. And it’s entertaining as hell to watch. No coincidence that they are winning with him. Change of style, limiting turnovers, and Miller/Dumervil mixed with Tebow will win you a lot of games.
When they get to the playoffs they will lose by 20. Better teams in a lose-and-go- home format will sell out to beat them!"

The Football Science

The Broncos will make the playoffs because the above formula they are using is solid for the regular season. The formula will pretty much get you a 9-7 record every season.

Play action passes are a QB’s best friend; ask any QB. They slow down the pass rush, and gives the QB more time to scan the field. So can you imagine an offense where there is a threat to run the ball on every play. The defense always has to look for the run even on normal passing downs and distances. Defenses can’t use specialized personnel so they end up having to over use their starters. The game is more physical. The offensive line gets to attack, instead of being attacked. Defense linemen love to attack passing offenses because they can be the hammer. But when they play a running team like the Broncos they end up being the nail. This takes a toll, and in the fourth quarter they are exhausted.

Tebow knows this. He is playing the rope-a-dope and it’s working to perfection. Plus Defense Coordinators don’t want to wreck their schemes for one game against Denver during the regular season. They put in a few wrinkles and hope for the best. But in the playoff when a Super Bowl is at stake a team will button up and go to work on the Broncos.

So from a football sense there is an explanation for what’s going on in the mile high city.

The Football Divinity

But I will acknowledge this…

The Broncos are getting every break in these close games, and Tebow takes full advantage of each of them. I can’t watch the start of Broncos games, but you can better believe I’m tuned into the fourth quarter. These fourth quarters have been unreal. Chicago had Tebow dead to rights last Sunday, but we didn’t account for the resurrection.

There are intagibles that can't be taught or measured. There is a certain synergy when there is a true leader in place that can drain every ounce of potential from himself and his followers. Belief can make strange things happen.

Tebow Time is real. It's sofaking fun. Let's just enjoy it while it lasts. It's a moment in time that we can all share.

Now lets see if the anti-Christ Belichick can drive a stake through this guys heart this week.

I hate that JRB is a stand up dude

A few months back I posted a blog entry about my hatred for Jean-Robert Bellande. He read it and emailed me the following unedited response.




Wow. You put so much thought into your blog I figured you deserved a response from me. Let me start by saying I too hate the way I played that hand...however it was not brainless play or self-loathing that caused me to get my money in so poorly.

1stly, I was not a dog in that line-up as you suggest. Peter Jetten and Brandon Adams are the 2 players that are better than me. Tom Dwan, Huck Seed and Joe Cassidy are 3 people that do not ever put there money in charitable or neg ev situations and they each had 10% pieces of me.
Ferguson normally a non-factor from playing too tight. Matusow, grinder and ph are often down right juicy.

From my vantage point it looked like CF was using a new game plan in this session... It seemed like he was high roll squeezing us with all that FTP $...taking down pot after pot without ever a show down. My gut told me that he had keen full of shit... I see now that he actually had the goods everytime!

Normally passing AQ in this spot to a solid tight like CF would have been optimal but in poker you have to trust your gut and my gut told me that he was bullying the scared money. Flagging would've been ok too (and such an easy flop to fold too in hindsight)

When I opted to 4-bet, I wanted take away his 5 bet bluff-shove option by letting him know that I was pot-committed. I absolutely hate this part of my play but that was the reason for my huge over-bet. I believe that you are mistaken about 50k being left...I think I was left w about 40k and I was indeed pot committed( unless I could put him on aces or kings which he clearly did not have based on his deliberation...). Btw, everyone at that tbl knew that I'm quite capable of being a 3rd or 4th smooth caller w aces. They've seen me do it. However, as CF pointed out, I prolly wouldn't over-bet aces like that. Huck said I played such a beautiful trap except that I was missing the aa or kk lol.
As far as not running it twice... I was in a bit of shock at the moment w my life br in the pot and hadn't even thought of the option until afterwards. But that's not a significant error.

So brutal because I played the best of anyone at that tbl until that fkn hand.

Again I hate the way I played this hand. Just letting you know why I made these decisions...

It also sucks that I lost you as a fan.

gg wp

Ambassador of Poker
Aria Casino
JRB@JRBpoker.com

I hate that NBA Action is no longer FANTASTIC

I hate that the NBA is entrenched in labor strife. The little brother of the NFL is experiencing a little bit of “monkey see, monkey do syndrome.” The problem for the NBA is that it’s become a winter game. With the football being so dominant in the fall, no one really pays attention to the NBA until the Christmas game.

I grew up loving the NBA. The 76ers were my favorite team, and Dr. J. was my favorite athlete. The NFL has usurped the NBA as my favorite but the NBA has first love status. She’s still dear to me. A couple of weeks ago I was channel surfing and NBATV was showing a 76er double-header; Game 7 of the '82 Eastern Conference Championship Game in Boston Garden, and Game 4 of the '83 Finals against the Lakers when the 76ers finally got the monkey of their back, and won the Championship for Doc.

The 4 hrs of the NBA was great to watch, and I found myself taking note during both broadcasts.

Andrew Toney was a Beast! He had to be the most feared two-guard in the sport. He was smallish but could get his shot off against anybody. He was a miniature Bernard King. Hate that he had that career ending knee injury.

Dick Stockton alluded to Pat Riley speaking ill of the officiating in game 3 of the series and being fined 3K for it. This puts to bed the notion that this was a Phil Jackson creation. 3K wow. Players get charged 3K for technical fouls now. Inflation! Also, Bill Russell was the color guy (no pun intended) and asked Stockton “Did Riley lie” when speaking about the officiating, to which Stockton immediately lost his tongue.

Stockton also mentioned that back-up center Clem Johnson missed a previous game in the series due to a urinary tract infection. Had to play back the DVR to make sure I heard that one correctly. I did! 1983 was a different time and place. It was like the game was being televised on Cinemax and not CBS. How do you think Clem’s family, friends, and girlfriend reacted to that one?

Magic was guarding Dr. J exclusively. Thought that was kind of weird.

Jamal Wilkes’ jump shot is by far the most hideous thing I’ve ever seen in life. The word “fugly” hadn’t been invented at the time but it suits his jumper perfectly. How did that thing not get blocked more often?

Clem Johnson was a very skilled back up that would dominate the center landscape in 2011. He’d be the 5th best center in the league now behind Howard, Bynum, Duncan, Gasol.

I was trying to decide who the time machine “custodian” was between Ivaroni, and Rambis, and then Landsburger comes in off the bench, and totally nails it.

Bobby Jones, Clint Richardson, and the aforementioned Clem Johnson make a very formidable bench.

Every time Moses Malone’s name was mentioned “On the Boards” was soon to follow. Moses was to peanut butter, what on the boards was to jelly.

Russell once misspoke and said “man on man” defense instead of “man to man” defense. Maybe I’m the only one that cared about that one.

When guys went to the deck their team mates didn’t immediately run over to help them up. That would only happen to Chris Bosh in 2011.

Michael Coopers leaving his shorts string hanging outside is a cool look. Surprised in this day of individuality no one does this. Wonder if Stern grandfathered him in and then banned it in future CBA dress codes? Wonder if the players would take less money now if they could let the string hang?

Bobby Jones is just arms, and legs, attached to a torso. But then again aren’t we all?

It’s starting to become obvious that CBS has no spotter working. Stockton and Russell were missing stuff on the slow motion replays for heavens sake. Funny because Stockton still calls game. This weekend he called an MLB playoff game, and NFL regular season game. He probably has 2 spotter and he is still missing calls.

Kareem also had a sweet lefty skyhook.

Riley has “time machine clothes.” You know how when you watch most things from 30 years ago the clothes stand out first. Well Riley’s outfit would fit in today without question. Everything about that game was dated except Riley. That dude has to have made a deal with the devil. The name on his birth certificate may read Johnny Favorite. He’s timeless.

76er coach Billy Cunningham had a Nike logo on the chest pocket and sleeve of his blazer. Trying to figure out how Nike didn't MAKE this catch on?

There is no way Moses Malone has never ate a whole pan of cornbread. I’d stake my life on it.

Clem Johnson is sporting a Shag, Widows Peak, and Sideburns. The Sexy Trifecta!

Toward the end of the game Cunningham was putting in Clint Richardson for defense, and I noticed that Stockton never used the term “situational substitution.” I guess it hadn’t been invented yet.

In the post game after the 76ers won the championship. The players were yelling into the TV like they had never had a camera in their face before. It was unreal. They were more giddy to be on TV than to win the championship. Each and every one of them said “Hi Mom”. What happened to “Hi Mom?” No one says that anymore.

All in all the games were great. Might be the only NBA games I see for the next six month or so. Hope not but you never know!

I hate that Curb Your Enthusiasm is better without Cheryl

Cheryl David is the third best female sitcom character of the last 20 years. She slots in right behind Elaine Benes of “Seinfeld” and Liz Lemon of “30 Rock.” Cheryl is funny, charming, and has great chemistry with Larry David (Curbs lead actor).

Season 7 of Curb closed with Cheryl and Larry on the outs, and Season 8 abruptly began with the couple getting a divorce. I didn’t like it, but I knew that Cheryl was such an intricate character that the show would have to find a way to include her in future episodes. To my immediate chagrin Cheryl didn’t appear in episode two, and by the time episode three “Palestinian Chicken” rolled around I wasn’t missing her at all.

Her absence gives the show a prequel type of a feel now. We always wondered how Larry got so lucky as to wed Cheryl in the first place. She’s younger, hotter, and better than him; we assumed that it was the Seinfeld money that made him attractive. So now post-Cheryl we get to see single Larry in all of his glory. And I must say it is “prettay, prettay, prettay” impressive.

In the span of two episodes one of my favorites had become insignificant. Can you imagine “Seinfeld” without Elaine? Cheryl was the table setter of the show. The sneaky hot wife that could stand toe to toe with Larry, and sometimes even outwit him. Larry is certifiably crazy, and we needed Cheryl to make everything believable. Cheryl would hastily apologize for Larry’s social phobias, or try to hijack them before they could do any significant damage. She was perfect. Little did I know, she was actually holding the show back? Season 8 of Curb was the best ever, and the stories told could not have happened organically with Cheryl being an active player.

In Palestinian Chicken (Episode 3) Larry (a Jew) meets a Palestinian woman at a verboten Chicken spot, they have immediate hate chemistry, which leads to the unforgettable scene where she and he are swapping paint, in the bedroom, and she initiates dirty talk by yelling at him “I’m going to Eff the JEW out of you.”

In The Bi-Sexual (Episode 7) Larry and Rosie O’Donnell are courting the same woman, and so Larry resorts to “juicing” to beat the competition. Jane the courted eventually finds out and forbids Larry from entering her Hall of Fame.

In Mister Softee (Episode 9) Larry is dating a woman who doesn’t know about his childhood mental scars and thus doesn’t understand why he goes soft when he hears the Mr. Softee ice cream music. This leads to countless shenanigans ending with Bill Buckner redeeming himself of his 1986 mishandling of a ball at Shea, by catching a baby in New York City.

In Larry vs Michael J. Fox (Episode 10) Larry is dating a woman who has a 6-year-old boy who is “fierce.” The lad’s birthday is coming up and Larry tortures himself trying to find a suitable gift. He settles on a sewing machine. The boy loves it, but Susie feels it’s not appropriate for a boy. Larry confesses that he bought the gift because he assumed the boy was gay. Susie says he’s too young to be gay, in order to be gay you have to have sexual feeling towards the same sex. She continues that the boy probably doesn’t have any sexual feelings, thus can’t be gay. Larry agrees, and then says the boy is “pre-gay.”

Season 8 was fantastic. Larry David is a comedic genius. First “Seinfeid” and now “Curb.” Not too many shows can claim that they are doing their best work in their eighth season. I hate to say it but this is a classic case of “The Ewing Theory” which basically supports the concept of addition by subtraction. Cheryl, you have become a casualty of greatness. We love you, but don’t miss you.

I hate that Tony Romo plays like score is not being kept

The most important part of all competition is score. Score equals accomplishment. Final score determines winning and losing. So no matter how much you score, unless you’re ahead at the final score, you’re a loser.

Tony Romo has a great physical skill set for a quarterback. He’s has a quick release, he’s accurate, he’s mobile all the physical things you want in a QB. But mentally he leaves much to be desired.

The fourth quarter of the game is considered winning time. Romo, not unlike Lebron James has difficulty during this time. I’m not sure if it’s pressure though in his case. I think its just Romo loves to play football so much that he loses sight on playing winning football. And as a Cowboys fan we suffer because of this. We as fans need wins to feel good on Mondays.

Sunday, the Cowboys were up by 7 against the Jets, in the season opener. My Cowboys had command of the entire game. We were inside the Jets 5 yard line. A field goal basically ices the win for us. Romo scrambles and then inexplicably takes off for the goal line, on third down, and dives for a touchdown. This play takes much guts, but little common sense. Like I said, a field goal wins it. When the play wasn’t there he should have played for the win, but he decided to play for the thrill.

Losers play for the thrill. Romo is an adrenaline junkie. He can’t help himself. He wants, nay, needs games to be close for some reason.

Romo fumbles on that dive for the end zone. The momentum of the game shifts, and the Cowboys end up losing by 3 points. Romo has no idea how bad that loss really was on Sunday. A win on the road against a quality team is hard to come by. On top of that there is a mental advantage to winning the first game of the season. The Cowboys play the AFC East this year with two home games against the Bills, and Dolphins. They could have ended up 3-1 against that division. The Cowboys also play the NFC West, which is an also-ran division where they could easily go 3-1. So even if they went 3-3 in their own division that would have left them very close to 10 wins and a playoff birth.

Now all bets are off, and the 49ers game this week is a must-win. You know if you ask loser QB’s about the game, they always say they want to make plays, or they dream about making the big throw in the big game. But a winning QB dreams about being in the Victory Formation, kneeling down with a lead in the big game.

So now Monday sucks, and I have to take all my frustration out on clients, and co-workers. They don’t deserve this, but its trickle down. Romo, does it to me, and then I must do it to you. I can’t imagine where it ends. There is probably some kid somewhere getting reamed and he has no idea why. I’m sure if he re-traced the evidence it would lead back to Tony Romo, and his disregard for winning.

Tony why do you hate winning so much? It’s done nothing to you. Winning is cute and has a great personality. I’m going to set you guys up on a blind date. I think you’ll like each other.

Until Romo gets his priorities in order Cowboy Nation will be forced to be thrill seekers, and miss out on all the winning that our brethren in New England, Green Bay, and Pittsburgh, get to experience.

Bobby Knight once said "Dumb loses more than smart Wins." I'm not sure if truer words have ever been spoken.

I hate Kindles and Nooks

Last year I didn’t buy a book for six months. This was odd because I’m an avid reader who actually loves books. I supplied my reading fix by using the library, and going to bookstores, and “steal-reading”. I didn’t purchase a book because I hadn’t made a decision yet. I had actually given myself a month to decide between 20th century books or 21st century e-books. Would I advance with technology and purchase a Kindle or remain that crabby old man that wouldn’t give in. I was 38 years old at the time, and felt that this decision was coming to a head. These new-fangled contraptions were getting sleeker, smarter, better, and cheaper, so I gave myself 30 days to decide.

I know this sounds crazy but I had a real decision to make here. You see I love books. Not just reading them, but I actually love the construct of books. I’m a very tactile person. I love the smell, feel, binder, paper, and ink of books. One of my earliest memories is me looking at my hands in wonderment because they had turned grey, and asking my mom what was wrong with them. She finally figured out that it was ink from the Washington Star newspaper and all the books I had read that day.

Look, I’m the dude that back in sixth grade, when I was dissatisfied with the book inventory at my elementary school asked my teacher if I could bring 100 of my favorite books to school, and open my own library for my classmates.

Fast forward. I’m 38. In my mind the rationale was this: Books are not like VCR tapes. They won’t vanish overnight. I only have another 30 or so years left. I think books will be around til I’m gone. So why change up now?

My thinking was hard to juxtapose because I own a computer, a blackberry, a laptop, a HDTV, a refrigerator, a stove, and a lamp. I obviously have no problem staying current. Was there more to this decision than I initially thought?

Needless to say the decision required more than a month. My pontification became paralyzing. The decision was huge, but why couldn’t I make it?

The stakes were high because, I would not buy another book until I decided. I didn’t want to create two separate reading streams going forward. The funny part about it was I had already given up newspapers, and was reading news online, so what was so precious about books.

One day I was reading the WSJ online and there was an article about Borders filing bankruptcy, and it hit me. Books had a social component to them. Many of the women I’ve dated, I met at bookstores. Where is the best place for a man of above average intelligence and very average looks to meet a smart woman? Bookstore!!! The slow death of books became layerd to me. The bookstore is like a club for a guy like me. First Books-a-Million, then Borders, and soon Barnes and Noble will all be part of my glorious overachieving past.

I can’t begin to tell you how many conversations I’ve started with “Hey I’ve read that, you’re going to love it.” It’s the perfect pick up line because it’s not a line at all. It’s a beautiful majestic Trojan horse. With these new machines you can’t see what a person is reading. I’m too old to be inventing new Trojan horses.

Eventually, after six months, I finally caved. The format makes too much sense in the world we live in. I purchased a Nook. It’s great, but doesn’t help me with the ladies. So although I’m technologically happy, parts of me are traditionally sad. Oh well! I guess I'll just have to see what's happening at Panera Bread, and Starbucks!

I hate that the word "Partner" is synonymous with gay people

This entry is basically do to my frustration to the fact that there is no appropriate word/title for a man approaching 40 to call the woman he’s in a monogamous relationship with.

I do realize that most people settle on “girlfriend” and move on, but I have a problem with that word. If I’m dating someone over 25 I don’t consider her a girl anymore. “Girlfriend” removes the gravity and seriousness for the relationship.

Some use the word “friend” but that is loose and vague. You introduce a woman as “friend”, and you’re just opening the door for problems, and closing the door on sex that night.

Over the last 10 years or so “boo” has been used. I basically consider this word racial, sophomoric, and ridiculous. Plus it’s the abbreviation for booty call. Didn’t know that did you? I can’t even use the word “boo” without throwing up a little bit.

The term “old lady” is disrespectful, and could be inaccurate. If I’m dating a 23 year old she doesn’t want to be called that, and if I’m dating a 50 year old she definitely doesn’t want to be called that. Also see “friend” for sexual repercussions.

“Shorty” is hood.
“Baby Mama” is disgusting.
“Honey Bunny” makes me think of “Pulp Fiction” and robbing a diner.

“Lover” is very adult and very European, but I don’t think America is ready for it. Plus when you introduce a woman to someone I don’t think she automatically wants everyone to know that you are putting your “P” in her “V” on a regular basis.

“Significant Other” is gay, which leads me to my problem. Last week I’m ending my vacation. I’m at Miami Airport half sleep at the gate, waiting for my Atlanta flight to start boarding. I overhear two gay couples chatting it up, and the conversation is replete with the word “partner”.

And it hits me. “Partner” should be our word. “Partner” very eloquently describes an adult committed relationship between a man and a woman who are partnering in the middle stage of their life. Why do the gays get to have “significant other” which they seem to not want anymore, and get to own “partner” when that is the perfect word for straight people? Is there any way we can get this word back?

I need this word. I may not ever get married. I can’t go on for the next 20-30 years avoiding a word that is so obviously perfect for me. What I’ve resorted to over the last decade is just introducing the woman by her first name and no title, but that makes the woman a little uneasy sometimes.

Now that I think of it, the reason why bachelors in their midlife submit to marriage is because they get tired or being mocked. They have gray hair, gray pubes, bald spots, creaky knees, bad backs, and don’t feel young enough to continue to use the term “girlfriend” anymore. They get tired of feeling icky so they surrender, go traditional, and marry the woman because “wife” sounds more grown up and mature. If only the gays would give us back “partner” or single women would let us call them “wife”.

I hate people that say "Good Question!"

Ever been watching C-SPAN, the Book Channel, or some innocuous press conference and see someone behind a dais fielding questions. That person behind the dais must be important to have people taking time out of their busy lives to come, and gather at the foot of the dais to witness him/her speak. Right? The dais represents the great divide between a reservoir of information (those sitting behind the dais), and information seekers (those sitting before the dais).

If aliens landed in this setting they would instantly know, for lack of a better term, the hierarchy of the room. It would be apparent, the very embodiment of the haves, and the have-nots.

Those behind the dais “have”, and those before the dais “have-not”.

So, the next time you see one of these things on TV, stay on it for a while. You’ll hear 4 or 5 queries posed by the “have-nots”, and the “have” will rattle off answers to those questions. Then something interesting will happen, a “have-not” will ask a question, and the “have” will pause, direct his eyes skyward, look down, and then say, “THAT’S A GOOD QUESTION”.

For a split second you feel good for the person that asked the question. He/she must be intelligent because a question was posed that got a big “gold star” attached to it. After the “have” announces the “good question” line he/she then begins to answer the question as if he/she had a prepared answer at the ready. And this is only due to the fact that he/she DID have a prepared answer at the ready.

A good question, if it were truly good, would stump the “have”. If the question were truly above average, there would be some hesitation or vacillation on the part of the “have”. A good question would garner some type of delay to the answer wouldn’t it?

What is simply happening, in this instance, is the “have” has played a Jedi Mind Trick on us. Most “haves” aspire to genius status so they use the “good question” trick to artificially raise the bar so when they answer the “good question” on the spot it makes them appear smarter than what they are. They announce the “good question” because they need everyone in the room to make the jump with them.

So the next time someone says “good question” to you, your follow up question should be “Why do you consider my initial question to be good?”

And for these next level tools out here that use the “great question” line, there is no hope for you.

Please die….Already!

I hate Jean Robert Bellande aka (BrokeLivingJRB)

I’ve grown to enjoy the game of Poker over the years, and with the advent of televised pokers events, I’ve grown to enjoy watching poker pros play poker on TV. I don’t know about you, but if I’m observing any competition I like to choose sides. It’s makes the event more compelling if I have a rooting interest. Over time I’ve chose my favorite players based on their skill, style, and likeability. My favorite players in order are Phil Ivey, Joe Hachem, Eli Elezra, and Jean Robert Bellande. Bellande less for his poker acumen, and more for his demeanor and personality. I root for him because he’s an underdog. He’s not a very successful poker player, but he lives a lavish lifestyle based mostly off of the people he knows, and not the pots that he has pulled.

Bellande is the everyman poker player. He wears his heart on his sleeve. He updates his fan on his twitter account and lets us know, on a regular basis, what his current bankroll stands at. I’ve seen him take some very bad beats and would often think that if this guy could summons some good luck, he could be a very successful poker player. I believed this up until last week when I saw him make the dumbest poker move I’ve every witnessed in life.

Bellande was playing on NBC’s Poker After Dark in a 100K cash game. He was playing well above the level his bankroll would dictate. He had no real edge in the game. He was playing 6-handed against. Chris Ferguson (WSOP Main Event Champion) Mike Matusow (3 WSOP Main Event final tables), Michael Mizrachi (WSOP Final Table in ’10, and multi final tables in the WPT), Brandon Adams, and Peter Jetten, very good poker players in their own right. Phil Hellmuth 11 times WSOP champion also rotated into the game. In my opinion he was the 6th best player in a 6-handed line up. Everyone at the table knew that if Bellande got felted he didn’t have money to rebuy. So Bellande has at least three strikes against him before the first hand is dealt. This puts him at a huge disadvantage.

I understand that poker players have egos so Bellande probably thought he could outplay these guys or catch a heater, and run his bankroll up. I was pulling for Bellande, and then he did one of the most inexplicable things I’ve ever seen. Blinds are $200/$400. Jetten opens light for $1400, Hellmuth flat called with 44, and then Bellande flatted on the button with AQ offsuit. Ferguson in the big blind wakes up with AK, and raises to $6900, Jetten folds, Hellmuth flats again (looking to flop a set), and then Bellande totally misreads Ferguson for weak and sticks another $36000 in the pot. Ferguson correctly put Bellande on a weak-ish holding. The very best hand Bellande could have at this moment is JJ. No one in his or her right mind would overcall a $1400 raise in position with AA, KK, or QQ. Bellande made an amateur play. He thought that his raise looked strong, but it actually looked very weak. A call would have looked stronger in that spot.

Also Bellande didn’t properly analyze the hand. Ferguson hadn’t showed a bluff all night, and the worst hand he could have had in that position is AQ. Which he would be willing to gamble with if he puts Bellande on JJ. Bellande has very little chance of making Ferguson fold. So Ferguson does the right thing and 5 bets Bellande all in. Bellande has $50000 left. In my opinion he had enough fold equity to lay it down. AQ vs AK is a 27% favorite. He still has well over 120 BB’s left in the match. But because he hates himself he put all the money he has in life in the middle hoping that Ferguson had a hand like 88 or 99. Then he compounds the error by not running the board multiple times to improve his chances. Bellande proves in this hand that he will always be a losing poker player. The 4 bet, calling the 5 bet, and not running it twice are mistakes an amateur makes not a professional. I’m officially off the JRB bandwagon. I can’t watch people I root for choke so badly in these spots.

I hate that Len Bias died

Yesterday marked the 25th Anniversary of the death of Len Bias. Many don’t know who Len Bias was, and to me that’s the shame of the entire matter.

Len Bias was the best college basketball player in 1986, and on the verge of going to the NBA and dominating. He was a freakish athlete. Imagine this. The size of Lebron, the hops of Jordan, and the shooting touch of Bird.

If you think I’m exaggerating ask Michael Wilbon, Tony Kornheiser, James Brown, and the like. He was a can’t miss prospect. He would have gone to the NBA and averaged 20, 8, and 5 in his first year.

The crazy thing about the NBA was that the Boston Celtics, who had just won the 1986 NBA championship, had maneuvered to get a chance at drafting Bias. They used the high draft pick they had and drafted Bias. He would have played alongside; Bird, McHale, Parrish. They would have been unstoppable.

Let’s play the what-if games for a moment. If Bias had lived another 10 years these occurrences would have been highly probable.

No attempt at a three-peat for Magic and the Showtime Lakers.
No repeat for Isiah and the Bad Boy Pistons.
No 1st three-peat for Jordan, and the Bull.
No Jordan retirement in 93’.
No repeat for Olajuwon, and the Rockets.
Bill Russell, not Jordan, would still be widely considered the G.O.A.T.


Unfortunately Bias didn’t live past June 19, 1986. I remember exactly what I was doing when I heard the news. I had just finished 8th grade and summer break was about 3 days old. I was lying in bed thinking about going downstairs to make my breakfast of champions (Sugar Smacks, and Pop-Tarts).

I was also thinking about a conversation I had the night before with one of my buddies. I’m a huge 76ers fan, and Bias had just been drafted by the archrival Celtics. I had watched Bias the last 3 years, and I knew he was great. My buddy was a Celtics fan, and he kept saying the Celtic were going to dominate the 76ers now. I tried to argue with him, but knew in my heart he was right.

On the morning of the 19th my buddy called while I was still in bed thinking about Sugar Smacks. He told me Bias had died. Had to be a practical joke right? But I heard the seriousness in his voice. He told me to turn on the news. I ran downstairs, turned the TV on, and there it was. It’s was a nightmare. I just broke into tears. I couldn’t contain myself. It didn’t matter what team I was a fan of, in that moment, I was a fan of life, and I felt like we all were being cheated. I was a 14-year old kid that idolized a 22-year old basketball player.

I lost my innocence that day, and the world lost a great basketball talent. In my opinion, all due respect to Marcus DuPree, Len Bias is “the best that never was.”

Rest in Peace #34.

I hate that people don't understand the beauty of the Gentleman's Club

Why do most people assume only “thirsty” men go to Gentleman’s Clubs? If you’re not familiar with the term thirsty it’s a black colloquialism that means eager or wanting. The term is usually used in reference to a man that is “too” eager to advance physicality with someone he is attracted to.

This notion can be put to bed because many highly successful, attractive men with means frequent the Shoe Show! I have to assume that these guys have access to attractive women, and aren’t in a perpetual dehydrated state.

Many women hate that their men frequent the Show. Some men don’t understand the allure. I have a few buddies that say "why get yourself all excited when you have no chance of closing the deal."

I’m not even sure those of us that go to the Show, really know, on a mental level, why we love it so. It’s just natural, like eating, breathing, sleeping. It’s in our DNA. It’s innate, genetic, and feels right, so why fight it?

I’ll attempt, using MATH, to shed some light on the situation.

First men love the Show because it’s an alternative universe. Think about it. If you could enter a different dimension that suspended disbelief, and was basically a “Bizarro” world on steroids, wouldn’t you want to take that trip?

Add to that that your safety is not compromised in any real way, and that you could leave said “Bizarro” world at any time without any negative repercussions.

Multiply that by the fact that you can go with your favorite people, and share the experience with them.

Divide this by the fact that you can enter this world for about the same amount of money that it would cost you to have lunch at Panera Bread.

Equals - NO BRAINER! You’re going!

Now, I consider the Show an alternative universe because of the social engineering that takes place once the door frame is compromised. The male-female dynamic is totally flipped. In most real life cases, men initiate communication between men and women, but in “Bizarro” world the roles are eloquently flipped. The woman is the catalyst. This is appealing to men.

Also the cash and carry economics appeal to men. The rules are set. If you order a lap dance off the menu it costs a standard amount. In our personal lives we date, and we don’t have any clue what a lap dance will cost us. We keep paying for things but never truly know when our laps are going to have a little extra company. It’s a Ponzi Scheme. Money goes in at your own risk with no guarantee of returns.

The male bonding aspect of the Gentlemen Club experience cannot be overlooked. Men are spectators by nature. We love to watch together when the outcome of an event is hanging in the balance. We love sports because of its competitive nature. On many levels the Gentlemen Club compares favorably to a sporting venue. The men go to be entertained, adult beverages are served, the dancers wear uniforms and are in competition with each other, and outcomes are unknown.

You never know what you’re going to see at the Show. I once met a woman that, up until that point, was an idea in my head. A figment of my imagination, if you will. In my mind the most attractive amalgamation of female genetics, strictly based on looks, is a mixture of Black and Asian (65%-35%). If it were not for the Show, on that fateful night in Cleveland Ohio, I would have never had the pleasure of meeting a Blasian Woman. The Blasian Woman was my mystical unicorn. Missing that would have hurt me in an unknown spiritual way. I’m thankful for not having to experience that pain.

Side bar. Blasian is the much hotter cousin of (Blackanese) the oft-used term that essentially means the same thing.

One of the most beautiful aspects of the show is that, on occasion, it gives us a glimpse at our most self-actualized counterparts. One of the most exciting occurrences at the Show is when a woman transforms into a force of nature and creates her own “Hot Spot” giving us all the ability to connect to her “Wi-Fi.” It’s amazing.

There is a point when the stage is full of beautiful women, the music is right, and the air is filled with expectations. The energy is out of control, and we are approaching a breach. A confident woman, in the distance, steps to the forefront, takes the lead and becomes a human conduit. She begins dancing right where she is. The electric current seeks her out. She is in control of everything that is happening in that time and space. All eyes are on her, and we can’t look away. The connection is unmistakable. She becomes one with the night, the music, the energy, and the moment. In this dimension woman is self actualized, and we (all of us) are living through her.

SEEING WOMAN IN THAT STATE IS THE ESSENCE OF BEAUTY AND WHY MEN CAN'T STAY OUT OF THE GENTLEMAN’S CLUB!

I hate that Stacey Dash has found the "Fountain of Youth" and hasn't divulged its locale

Stacey Dash has to be the hottest 45 year-old on record. I challenge anyone to identify something hotter.

I usually reserve my blog entries for very serious matters like, arguments for strengthening phone etiquette, debating hierarchy of sports lists, and sharing personal pet peeves; real heady stuff. However today I will make a fun exception and give a well-deserved shout out to a freak of nature.

I had kind of forgotten about Dash. I first saw her in “Clueless”. She was 29 year old in real life then playing a 17 year old. She’s hasn’t done a lot of mainstream work recently. So you know…. “Out of sight…..Out of mind.”

Monday night I had just returned home from a cross-country trip. I had spent time in St Louis, and Las Vegas over the previous 3 days, and got very little sleep. As I was driving home from the airport I was craving my bed, and looking forward to at least 8 hours of make out time with my pillow. I get home, unpack the truck, head up to the bed, fall in, and then commence to stare at the ceiling for 2 hours. I hate it when that happens! My mind could not shut off.

I turn on the TV to change the mood, start flipping through the channels, and there it was. A blue lace dress with a black goddess sown in it. Don’t get me wrong this isn’t me being creepy, it's just me appreciating something that seems to be timeless. This woman looks the same. Scratch that. This woman looks better than she looked 15 years ago.

Stacey, if you’ve found the fountain of youth please don’t keep it to yourself. I was taught growing up that “Caring is Sharing.” We need this! Looking forward to being amazed 5 years from now when you turn 50!

I hate my brain (sometimes)

The first song I ever remember hearing was the Supremes classic “Why do fools fall in love?” I remember being driven to school by my mom and hearing those words, “Why do they fall in love”. The tune was so catchy, so alive, so bouncy, I looked around the car to see if it was having the same impression on my brother that it was having on me. It wasn’t. To him it was just another song playing on the radio, but to me it was more than that. For some weird reason, that song spoke to me. It moved me. It touched me. From that day forward fools and love were synonymous. Anytime I heard the word love, I thought about fools and then I would ask why?

Why be foolish when you don’t have to be. Being a fool can’t be a good thing. Right? So why are we so hell bent on being one? Why are we in such a rush to become a fool? Why is that side of the highway so full and why is the other side, the side I’m on so empty.

I’m distant. I like space. I wouldn’t say I’m cold, but I can be a little chilly from time to time. This is how I deal with people. On the other hand, I start to get really passionate when it comes to ideas, concepts, and theorem. I guess you can say I’m a cerebral guy. How many four year olds do you know that can dissect the essence of “Why do fools fall in love?”

One could deduce from my bio that I have some intimacy issues. I do.

I’m a classic case. I come from a broken home. My mom and pop split when I was three years old. My grandparents have been together for over four decades but they hate each other. I’ve witnessed every type of argument imaginable. I’ve witnessed adultery, I’ve witnessed drunken stoopers, I’ve witnessed neglect, and I’ve witnessed abuse. I affectionately call this the “rainbow of dysfunction.” Seeing all this has helped my development as a person. I’ve gotten to see the seamy underbelly of relationships. So to me there was no place to go but up.

The funny thing about it is that you would think that all that would have turned me into some type of stereotypical man that just perpetuated all the negative things that he grew up with, but it hasn’t. In a weird profound way it has made me more determined to be a good man, to be honest with myself, and to be honest with others. The most important thing that it has taught me is to really know what I want, and not to settle for what is readily available. The common denominator in my parents, and my grandparents’ relationship is that they settled for something they didn’t want and ultimately made themselves unhappy because of it.

My mom was a free spirit; she was all over the place. My pop was conservative. My grand mom was ultraconservative, and my grandfather, well he is just off the chain. With this information alone, an outsider with little knowledge of either couple could tell you that happiness wasn’t in the cards. I’m not going to say that happiness was an impossibility; I’m just going to say that the odds weren’t in their favor. But you know what, they did nothing to improve those odds.


Through my observations, I’ve learned that unhappy is a decision not a consequence. All this reality strengthened my resolve to find real solutions and not to just go in the way of conformity. I learned that ordinary people conform while extraordinary people move the bar everyday.

So I became a student of people. I’ve watched, and observed every person that has come in out gone out of my life. I study them. I study how they talk, and what they do, and whom they know, and how all those thing meld into who they are and how they handle their relationships.

I think this is where it started for me. I observed so much that I became distant. I started to see people as subjects. There is a side of me that sees people as experiments. I often wonder how they will respond given variable changes. It’s kind of sick. My brain is mapped differently. It started young. I saw a stone-faced cold person in the mirror one day and embraced him. I didn’t run away. I liked him. He was me, and he was all I was given to survive and thrive in this world. Maybe I should have run but I didn’t.

I’d witness friends and family falling apart emotionally over things that seemed trivial to me. This was sad, but what was worse was how those emotional downfalls led to bad decision, and those bad decisions circled right back to emotional downfalls. My only way to escape this ring was to love my brain and breakup with my heart. It’s the gift/curse paradox. Those Greeks were on to something. Now I live and don’t feel regrets or remorse, but I wonder sometimes am I truly living. Emotions are all around me and I’m immune to them. I couldn’t catch an emotion if it sneezed on me, got mixed in my food or had unprotected sex with me. The ones I love and the ones that love me have them, and I often find myself thinking about what they are feeling.

Now I’m 38, and my brain is on autopilot. Years of conditioning have made it unstoppable. I’m so attached to it. It’s my identity. It’s who I am. I don’t know what I would be without it. I recently tried to change it. I really tried. I wanted to see how other people lived. I wanted to be one of them. Get along. Connect. Right when I was starting to change I ran. I wasn’t sure I wanted to break up. I got cold feet. I starting thinking I’m too old to change who I am. Would I like the change? Would I hate myself for tampering with the gift? Or even worse, what if I lost my uniqueness and became ordinary? In a world of over 6 billion people a man needs to be unique right?


You know, now that I look back on it, I’ve never been normal. I mean, I’ve never thought about things the way my contemporaries have. If everyone is going left then I want to go right. I don’t trust the crowd. I don’t believe they are thinkers. I believe the crowd is no more than a bunch of followers. Mindless robots.


Speaking of mindless robots, I’m a religious man. I was born and raised in the church. I continue to go because I believe in God, and that His teachings complete us. I’m a member of a nationwide church that has small congregations all over the country. In my heart, I believe, that religion is good and that it can make the world a better place. So in that regard I guess you could say I’m committed to God. It’s funny because I think He’s the only thing I can commit to. It’s easy to commit to Him. I never have to see Him. I have scheduled times when I worship Him. He never asks me how I feel about Him. He never needs extra attention, or for me to ask Him how His day went. Our relationship is great because He’s low maintenance.

I’ve been in several relationships. Although they never last long, I can truly say I’ve enjoyed all of them. I don’t regret any of them. They’ve all been great learning experiences for me. Funny thing is I never know if women like me because of my uniqueness or in spite of it.

I hate that Marriage is so very OVERRATED

If someone asked you what your thoughts were concerning prison what would you say? My guess is you’d say something along the lines of “I don’t even want to think about it. I can’t imagine anything worse.” The first thing you would think of would be the loss of freedom; freedom to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, and wherever you want to do it at. I guess we can all agree that freedom is important. Saying we hold freedom dearly would be a gross understatement. It’s the one word that pretty much defines our way of life. Why would we voluntarily give freedom away? Why would we just hand it over willy-nilly; without a fight, without some to type of epic battle or struggle? So why on Gods green earth, would any person of sound mind inprisome him/herself by choosing to get married? Or better yet, why would we choose to get married when being single is a fantastic and very viable alternative?

I can hear it now. I know what most of you are thinking right about now. Marriage doesn’t mean giving up your freedom. And I retort, if that’s not the case then riddle me this, why are all my married friends begging me not to do it? Yea, I know. It’s crazy. But when I talk to my married buddies and share with them some of the crumbs of the plate of my single existence, they are mesmerized. They can’t believe how good I have it; I can hear the envy in their voices. They wished they had made their single time a little longer. They would love to be me for a day. They’d even take an hour here or there if they could. These guys have been neutered. It’s unbelievable. These once great men, captains of industry, masters of their domain, are now mental midgets, pencil necked geeks if you will, beaten down worse than the Mulkey Brother on a Saturday morning at the Omni. (Wrestling Reference).

The funny thing about it all is that these guys went out and got a license to do this. This didn’t happen by accident. Oh no! They weren’t duped or tricked. They willingly did this. They checked the landscape and felt this was a necessary move. They felt like this was the next logical step. They felt like doing this somehow would enhance them.

The law in most states (save Vegas) is designed to give the two parties (husband/wife) ample time to change their minds. There are waiting periods, and drug test, and the like, all there as boundaries to thwart whimsical stupidity. The fact that one has to get a license marks the end of love and the being of institution life. Why a license? The license is actually ironic. Usually a license affords you some freedoms. Take for example a drivers license. You can’t wait to get it. When you do, you get the freedom of independence. No more going to Mom and Dad and asking them to take you someplace. You can do it yourself. You’re no longer a burden to others.

When a mortgage broker gets a license to do business in a particular state, the entire state is opened to him. That license gives him freedom to work. However the marriage license has no tangible benefit. The freedoms you once had are stripped from you. You can’t go when you want to go. You have to ask permission. You all like to call it notification but let’s call it what it is PERMISSION.

Marriage is not a win/win. Marriage is a lose/lose. We may as well call the marriage license a license to lose. OK what are we losing? You lose the ability to think independently, you can’t talk intimately to the opposite sex, you can’t flirt, you can’t be friendly, you can’t move without checking in, you can’t smile, you can’t be funny, look at the opposite sex, be attracted to someone, find someone funny. All are against the sacred marriage law. The most important thing we lose is the ability to be alone. Being alone is so natural. In fact I’m sure many don’t remember this but you were actually born alone. And if you take a little peek into the future you’re going to die that way too.

I hate that the NCAA doesn't know what the word "amateur" means

Recently there has been lots of chatter and debate over whether college athletes should be paid to participate in collegiate athletics. Journalists, who I respect, have weighed in passionately on the matter. Jason Whitlock of Fox is demanding Revolution and Reform. His position is that it’s unfair for players who generate billions to not receive an equitable piece of the financial pie. Colin Cowherd of ESPN believes the status quo is the answer. He asserts that the scholarship the player receives is more than adequate compensation. Jamele Hill of ESPN wrote today that the players should BOYCOTT. Wow. Really? Is it that bad? Are civil liberties being ignored?

The NCAA has made this bed and now it has to lie in it. The currently rulebook for college athletes is a joke. The rules have progressively gotten more narrow over the past 25 years. The foundation of all the rules is “improper benefits” received by the college athlete. “Improper benefits” mean that a player can’t get anything that a “normal” student would not receive in the course of receiving an education. Because the NCAA has made this the foundation the entire structure will fall within the next 10 years. Look most athletes are treated different than the average student. The recruitment process reeks of improper benefits. When I was in high school, I didn’t have a university fly me in first class for a tour of their facilities. When I visited the University of Maryland, I didn’t get to meet Len Elmore, or Buck Williams but I’m sure the basketball recruits did. Once I enrolled in school and became an officer in the Young Republican Organization I didn’t have girls showing up to “hug” me, but I’m sure the 1st string QB did. So the entire notion that all collegiates are and should be treated equal is a pipe dream.

I once believed that the players should be compensated monetarily, but I don’t anymore. I do believe that the scholarship is a great base salary for lack of a better term. Most student athletes are happy with the education and the ability to play a game they love for a few more years before they go out into the real world. But there are outliers in this system that because of their rare talent, move the meter in college athletics, and a different model should apply to them.

Take a guy like Tyler Hansbrough of the University of North Carolina. He was a basketball ICON for 3 years. His likeness was used on video games. His jersey was sold all over the country. He lost out on 3 years that he could have marketed himself in the Chapel Hill community. He could have done commercials for the local car dealerships or grocery stores, but because he was a student athlete he lost 3 years of earning potential in a career cycle that for most ends in 10 years. 33% of his ability to market himself was gone because he decided to stay an amateur. Hansbrough could have left school after his sophomore season signed basically the same NBA contract that he signed 2 years later. Yet the NCAA capitalized on his love for school to the tune of millions of dollars, but he couldn’t. Conversely, if a Film Major at NYU, while on scholarship, makes a movie that generates money he/she can keep it and there is no conflict. Or if a Singer enrolled at Duke Ellington can sing back up on an album and make a little spending money on the side. The irony of the whole thing is that the NCAA wants to keep money out of the collegiate activity that generates by FAR the most MONEY.

If Tyler Hansbrough had been an Olympic “amateur” he could have made marketing money and still kept his amateur status. Olympians can do commercials, and pitch products, why can’t basketball and football players. In this model Hansbrough could have taken care or himself while the NCAA was taking care of itself. Win/Win! The Olympic model has merits that the NCAA must adopt. Post Haste!

If we look at the Ohio State Football Scandal we notice that the players are being sanctioned because they traded awards for tattoos. Players were given gold pants trophies for beating Michigan, and because they have owned Michigan for the past few years they had several gold pants. So they traded them for ink. It’s funny because aren’t the gold pants alone an improper benefit? Did the debate team get gold pants? Furthermore once you give something to someone isn’t it theirs. Can’t they do with it what the will? Damn the NCAA sounds like Communist China!

Many of the best players come from the most impoverished families. They need money. They want money. Worst yet they see everyone else making money in the current model except them. So when someone gives them a $100 handshake they have no problem with it, because in their mind it’s trickle down economics. There has to be a way to use bad booster money and turn it into good. Why can’t booster set up a fund for the team and have the university manage it? Why can’t the marketing and business departments create real businesses under the university umbrella to make real money for the teams? Beats the hell out of the Hypothetical Hubbard International Shoe Company I had to create junior year.

The NCAA is at a crossroads. The money is too big, and the players know it. Coaches are making 5 million a year. The TV deal is worth 11 billion. Something has got to give. I say the NCAA should take the lead because in 5 years or so it’s going to be out of their hands and they may be left holding a large rulebook that applies to no one.

I hate that my relationship with NFL Football is in jeopardy

I’ve been in love for 33 years now. When I met her it was love at first sight. I remember it like it was yesterday. Picture this… Late fall…January ’78…. I see it for the very first time. It took my breath away; a beautiful blue star resting so effortlessly on a grey solid backdrop. The landscape was green, the markers white, the frame was rectangular elegance. I felt anxiety and peace all at once. I was mesmerized.

My love grew. What was once seasonal love became year round. Some may call it an obsession but it feels more like passion to me. In spring we draft plans, and in summer we camp. We have date night every week in the fall. In winter we plan super celebration:
Everything in its respective place, until its not.

The NFL has experienced labor pains. Most notably in’82 and ’87 so why am I feeling so out of sorts right now. How is this different? I guess because in those years it was clear who needed to apologize. The players needed free agency, and the owners needed a salary cap. I understood both, and both have made the game a much better product.

The labor strife in 2011 is much more murky. The owners opted out of a contract that paid the players 60% of revenue. The owners are asking for more of the pie, and he players are hell bent on never giving back a crumb. Stalemate.

In my opinion the real problem is a philosophical one. The owners know they don’t have a product without the players so in peacetime they allow the players to THINK that they are PARTNERS. The players have got so embolden by this that they actually THINK they are PARTNERS. Until this philosophical difference gets settled my love will always be at risk.

Let’s be clear. Owners and Players are not partners and will never be partners. If a fan goes into Texas Stadium and hurts him/herself then he/she will sue the Dallas Cowboys, the NFL, and Jerry Jones for damages. Tony Romo, and DeMarcus Ware will not be listed in the suit. They are not partners. They are employees. Also if players and owners were partner’s players would have a legal obligation to see the books. The fact that they have to ask to see the books answers the question emphatically. THEY ARE NOT PARTNERS!

I would never share the books with an employee. Why should NFL owners? I know the player rationale is this isn’t an ordinary job. They risk life and limb every time they strap it on, but they also get paid inordinate sums of money to do so. And in deference to Adrian Peterson, Rashard Mendenhall, and any other player that feels like the NFL is transporting them back to pre Jim Crow Slavery Time, players have options. They aren’t chattel.

In my lifetime the players have gone from making 35% of the revenue to 60%. Where does it stop? The number has to stop at some point doesn’t it? The owners liked it at 55%. The players like it at 60%. Let’s make it 57.5% and move on. Keep in mind this should only be Football Revenue not total revenue. Players should get 57.5% of the TV Deal, Gate, and Merchandise only. The owners paid hundreds of millions for the clubs. They should be able to sell naming rights, sponsorships, and create joint ventures without having to share that with their employee.

I wish the owners and players had signed a pre-nup. Their acrimony has put me in a precarious situation. My love is in jeopardy. The combine didn’t feel right. Free agency hasn’t started. The draft has been cheapened, and I know not what tomorrow brings. The thought of no NFL in the fall disappoints me greatly. Normally I’d just start dating someone else, and move on. On to the next one, but this is different, this is the NFL. I’ve dated the others, and they pale in comparison. Please don’t take my love away!
I HEART THE NFL!

I hate that society wants all of us in a Box

Society is a joke. It’s only purpose it to drain everyone of his or her eternal soul. Society seeks to reduce everyone to the lowest common denominator. Individuality and original thought are for the most part frowned upon. Any new idea or thought is considered evil and must be vanquished, ridiculed, mocked, until it is so marginalized that people will laugh at it. If someone just suggests doing something a little bit differently, if they mention the road less traveled as a viable option they will immediately be dismissed. I’m not talking about technological advances or things of that nature. We will always be on the cutting edge of those type of things, because creating new creature comforts will always be high on mans priority list. I’m just talking about original thought.

What I’m referring to are the monuments of human thinking. These ideas that are so built up. They are so large and ominous that people dare not oppose them, these pristine chapels that can’t be touched or disputed. You know the notion that says marriage is best for everyone, or that honesty is the best policy, don’t hide things from your girlfriend, or can't win them all.

These fecocteh ideas are so unoriginal. Relationships have been around forever. And in all of this time, virtually no headway has been made on the relationship front. Relationships are no better today than they were yesterday, the day before, and even the day before that. In fact relationships are deteriorating. Relationships in the form of marriages are suffering the biggest hit. More than 50% of marriages end in divorce. Why?

In many cases we follow the same dead end roads our predecessors have traveled. We keep doing bad stuff, and doing worse stuff, and doing even worse stuff to each other. The very definition of futility is performing the same task over and over again reaching the same outcome, but always leaving some slim hope that the next time you perform the task the outcome will be different. In order to progress we must break the circle of futility and explore new and uncharted territory, documenting our progress to expedite the travel of those that are destined to follow.

Why can’t we be different? What is stopping us? All due respect, but the answer is laziness. People are so lazy; we don’t want to do the work. We ask advice of people way too much. Why? God gave us a brain at birth, but we don’t trust it. We trust everyone else’s brain, but not our own. We know our experiences, our sensibilities, our emotion, and yet we trust relative strangers to make decision for us.

We value everyone’s opinion. We seek answers in books, we search the net, we watch TV, we read magazines, and we seek therapy, all to get comfortable with our own thoughts. It’s as if we need a co-signor on everyone. We don’t trust ourselves to make a decision, so we take straw polls. We check to see which way the wind is blowing before we make a decision about anything. We ask our best friend, who is as much in the dark as we are, for their opinion. Why do we do this? We’re not comfortable with our own thoughts.


We avoid thinking for ourselves. We stores content from all the places I mentioned above and just regurgitate it when the situation warrants. We are incapable of having an original idea because we suffocate our thoughts before they become ideas. As soon as they start to creep outside of the box, we kill them. At some point, in order for us to grow, we have to create a boundary between society and ourselves. I’m not suggesting that we all create a land of make believe in our minds. That would be ridiculous. What I am suggesting however, is that we create a buffer; a small mechanism that keeps thoughts and opinions from becoming ours until we have contemplated them long enough to formulate an opinion.

Anytime I see a lot of people going in the same directions I get nervous. My natural instinct at that point is to go in the other directions as quickly possible. Going with the crowd requires no thought. All you have to do is just line up right behind the person that is in front of you. Doesn’t require anything more than that. We learned how to line up behind people in pre-K. So performing a task that 4 years olds have mastered doesn't make us special.

Extraordinary people look at situations and see how they can be made better. They march to the beat of a different drummer. Ever wonder who the drummer is? It’s you. Everyone has their own personal rhythm, and when you allow some other person to create rhythm in your head you are doing yourself and the world a huge disservice. You’re taking what you were born with and handing it over to someone else. I don’t think we were given a brain to just memorize what other people think. Our brain is uniquely ours we cheat ourselves when we don’t use it.

Have you ever noticed that our most precious natural resources are under-ground? For some reason God chose to put really valuable things in a place that we had to work to get to. Interesting huh? Why do you think He did that? Wouldn’t it make more sense to put things we really need in a place that would be easily accessible? Gold and oil are our most precious resources and we have to dig deep in the earth to find them. It’s that age- old proverb; if we have to work for something we’ll appreciate, and value it more. In this regard we can learn a great lesson from nature. The precious things are under the surface, and surely not in that stupid box.

I hate that Lebron James doesn't have serial killer DNA

Let me start by saying that the title of this Hate Diary Log is misleading. It should really be “I hate that I got overwhelmed by the hoopla over “The Decision” last summer and thought that the Miami Heat would cruise to an NBA championship in June 2011.”

That title is way too long and too introspective, so we’ll just say bygones and get to the crux of the matter.

Last night I watched the New York Knicks, a team basically 5 days old, (a baby, a zygote, an embryo) beat the Miami Heat on their home floor in a critical game. The game was critical to the Heat because in order for them to have any chance of representing the Eastern Conference, in this years NBA Finals, they must secure the #1 Seed in the East.

As currently constructed they can’t beat both the Bulls, and the Celtics in succession; they need them to beat the hell out of other and hope the winner doesn’t have enough left to put up a substantial fight. The Heat were already trailing Boston in the standings, and only 1 game up in the loss column on Chicago. They needed this game!

The Heat had no excuse, they had motivation, they had a formidable opponent, they were rested, and most importantly Spike Lee was in the house. As a basketball player, if you can’t get up for playing in front of Mars Blackmon then whom can you get up for?

This was a statement game and the Heat made a profound statement… They aren’t ready. They are flawed. Their best playing is a playground baller, with all the talent in the world but can’t seem to summons it in crunch time.

Lebron James’ game is best suited for the Rucker, and not for the Association.

I was mistaken to think that adding him to a team with two all-stars would suddenly change that. Last night in a critical situation down in the fourth quarter the Heat ran a 1-4 isolation with Lebron at the top of the key. Hummm where have I seen that before? Oh I remember, at the end of every playoff game the Cavaliers played over the last 6 years.

Bill Simmons, the best and most astute basketball writer in the country penned a fantastic article at the start of the season about how Lebron was a better player than Dwyane Wade and how that for them to coexist DWade must embrace his inner Scottie Pippen. I’m not doing the article justice; here the link please read it for yourself.

Sidebar

You need 20 minutes to read this. Simmons loves to write and his columns are magical. Magical is another word for wordy. Is wordy a word? The man wrote the Basketball bible a couple years ago and when I say bible I mean that it was both epic and over 700 pages.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/10129&sportCat=nba

I, for the most part, agree with Simmons saving this one caveat, Dwyane Wade is a better clutch player than Lebron James. He’s proven it. He’s was the Finals MVP in 2006 and single handedly won Miami its first championship.

If you asked me three years ago who I wanted in a big game my quote was “give me Lebron for the first 3 quarters, give me DWade in the first 10 minutes of the 4 quarters, and give me Kobe in the final 2 minutes.” 3 years later and my position hasn’t changed.

A player is either clutch or he’s not. Period. A clutch player needs the responsibility of having it all riding on his shoulder at the critical juncture of the game. A clutch player has the unique ability to clear the mechanism, and get to the place on the floor where they know they can produce.

Examine Lebron’s game. Where is his sweet spot on the floor? All the great ones have a spot on the floor where they do the majority of their business. Lebron is a freakish athlete that can physically dominate in non-crunch time. But when the opposition is strong willed and refuses to bend to his will, giving him the lanes to the basket, he then becomes a fraction of himself. When all the chips are on the line, teams aren’t going to give you anything; you have to earn everything.

An interesting aside, I was watching TNT on NBA All-Star weekend and tuned into a show about the greatest All Star in NBA history. The show was basically a fantasy draft of all stars. How would you build your team? Charles Barkley was one of the panelists, in fact he had the first overall pick. With the entire list at his disposal, Michael Jordan, Bill Russell, Magic Johnson, Wilt Chamberlain, he chose Allen Iverson. ALLEN IVERSON!

Allen “Ball Hog” Iverson
Allen “I never won anything meaningful” Iverson
Allen “Play ground king” Iverson
Allen “Practice, we talking about Practice” Iverson

Are you kidding me?

At first I thought he was goofing around, and then he let it slip that he didn’t understand the rules of the game. He screwed the whole draft up for me, but I thought about it further, and concluded he wasn’t prepared. He agonized over every subsequent pick, taking them all down to the last second before deciding. He was cracking under pressure. I find there no coincidence that he was never considered a clutch player during his career although he is considered an all-timer by many.

On that same show the biggest choker in NCAA and NBA history Chris Webber graced the panel. He too had difficulty making his picks. He was sweating every choice and seemed uneasy during the entire broadcast. No coincidence here. Webber was the most gifted big man in the 90’s but he called the ill-fated time out in the National Championship game that the Wolverines didn’t have, and he came up small in every playoff series he ever played in. In contrast Steve Kerr, who was a journeymen player in the league, was organized. He was cool under pressure. He drafted the best team, and never ran out of time with his picks. No coincidence that he is considered a clutch shooter and won many games in the playoff for his teams.

I mentioned those items to say that some people although great just can’t handle the added pressure of being great in the clutch. They don’t have the ability to clear the mechanism and go to work. The only chance the Heat have of winning a championship this year is to let Lebron dominate in the first 3 quarters and then let DWade embrace his inner Michael Jordan in crunch time.

I hate that Cancer still exists

Here recently I’ve been asked to participate in several fundraisers that assist with research for “rare cancers”. Hadn’t really heard the term much until this year, and I can’t get it out of my head. The term sits odd with me. The more I hear it the more uneasy I feel. So I did a little research and then felt like opening my mind and sharing my thoughts. Hopefully I’ll feel better when done.

The first case of cancer was believed to have been diagnosed in Egypt around 1500 BC, so that’s approximately 3500 years ago. To my knowledge we have yet to find cures for “common cancers” in those 35 centuries.

Yes we have medicine, and radiation, chemicals to slow the disease down but no pill or vaccine that thwarts it.

Our world has grown so much in 3500 years. Hell, I’m 38, and the world has flipped twice since 1972. In my lifetime, mankind has reached the heavens, put computers in our pockets, and the Internet at our fingertips. Technology has exploded, and we still have no real cure for cancer. Cancer affects all of us. We all have lost someone to it. Yet and still we have no real cure.

I see slogans racing for the cure, I see ribbons on lapels, and I see drives, and fundraisers, but still no cures. I’m starting to believe that Chris Rock was right when he said there will never be cures for these things that ail so many because “the money ain’t in the cure, it’s in the medicine”.

I’m a capitalist by nature, but maybe we need to take another look at how we’re approaching this thing. One would think that resources would only go to “rare cancers” after “common cancers” have been cured. Maybe we need less autonomy and a more autocratic approach to this.

The National Cancer Institute (NCI) was established in 1937. Their budget last year alone was 5 Billion Dollars. The monies are basically spread over 10 different cancers in order of “commonness”; skin, lung, prostate, breast, colorectal (combination of colon, and rectal), bladder, non-Hodgkin lymphoma, kidney, leukemia, and pancreatic.

Why don’t we make this thing a real race for the cure, and try to cure one of these before 2015? Why can’t we lock the 100 best cancer scientists in a facility until they come up with a vaccine for one of these cancers? Would this be too much like socialism? Would this threaten our civil liberties? Could our democracy handle it? I think so.

Okay, so which cancer should we cure? Skin is very preventable so scratch that one. 90% of lung cancer diagnoses come from smoking, sorry you did it to yourself, scratch that one. Prostate and Breast are about even, and are predominately gender specific so let’s pick on of those.

Why can’t we concentrate our resources, and systematically eliminate prostate and breast cancer from the world? Maybe if we can get one domino to fall the others won’t be very far behind.

I hate when people count other peoples money

Its that time of the year again when Wall Street companies will get flogged and raked over the coals for the bonuses they are paying to their highly specialized employees. Tis the season for the growing sect of angry populists to stand up and be counted.

The angry people will ask questions like: Why is the company paying that size bonus? They ask the question already knowing the answer because they’ve lived in a capitalist society their entire lives. They also know that the person working at McDonalds doesn’t deserve to make $9 an hour either.

The real question is does anyone deserve what he/she makes? If those same angry people went to an impoverished country and told a poor man that they make 90K for picking up trash those poor peasant would think that 90K for picking up trash is outlandish, and they would offer to do it for pennies on the dollar.

Our economy is based on supply and demand.

When you get a Christmas bonus based only on that fact that a child was born in a manger; is that fair? Do you deserve it?

Then the angry people will say; are these the same companies that borrowed money from TARP just three years ago? Yes, these companies did need a loan to survive in 2008. Just like we all need loans to buy homes, and cars, and boats, and education. The populist’s act as if borrowing was created only for these Wall Street companies, when in fact borrowing is the life-blood of our economy. The TARP funds are basically set up as a 5- year loan. The interest rate goes up in 2013. Over 60% of the TARP funds have been paid back with interest and I can say with some assurance that 90% will be paid back when the interest rate on the loans increase two summers from now.

Risk has a price.

These specialists have produced great wealth for our country, and as soon as we see a few negative statements in our 401K, we’re ready to lynch the people that are working for our future. Look. The only way you and I can retire and live a good life afterwards is if the money we earn makes more money. Money has to make money while we’re sleeping, while we’re eating, for us to have enough in the late stages of life.

It takes a special person to sit in an office and look at money, and move it around so that multiplies. They can’t see faces when they are doing their business, they can’t think about loss, or anger, or judgment. These people are part mathematician, part lawyer, part soothsayer, part gambler, and part psychopath.

Rare talents must be appreciated.

So before you go off the handle and start bashing the companies for paying the bonuses, and the employees for accepting the money think about it. Do you want to retire? Do you want to live well in your advanced age? If so, get your hands out of these guys’ pockets and let them do what they do!

I hate modern cell phone etiquette

Tell me if this has ever happened to you. You pick up the phone and dial someone. The phone rings a few times. You’re prepared to leave a message. The person you called answers. You start your typical greeting and then the person says.

“Hey I’m really busy, can I call you back later?”

You say, “Okay” and then the call is terminated.

Don’t you usually feel a little weird afterward? The weirdness normally subsides within seconds because you’re so use to the behavior. It happens all the time now. You’re immune to it. You probably don’t even know why you feel weird in the first place.

If you’re over 30 years of age this behavior is weird because you remember a time when phones weren’t attached to people. You remember the phones being in centralized areas of your home.

What you DON’T remember is someone ever answering the phone and then telling the person on the other end “Hey, I’m really busy, can I call you back later?” You know why you never heard it, because it’s a stupid asinine thing to do.

Back then when you were too busy to talk you chose to NOT ANSWER THE PHONE. It makes very little sense to answer when you can’t talk. If you don’t have much time, why deplete it by answering the phone at all? Why would you cut into your already hectic schedule to pick up a phone that you’re not going to use?

If you ever get intellectually curious and ask someone why he/she does it, they’ll say, “I just wanted to let you know I couldn’t talk.” They don’t realize that I get the same clue if they don’t answer the phone at all. In fact that’s the first thing that goes through my mind when the phone goes to voice mail. Then being courteous I actually consider the importance of my query even before leaving a message. Will it be worth their time to check this message? Can I get the information I need from another resource?

Also when you just don’t answer I can say to myself. The phone isn’t nearby, you couldn’t get to it before it went to VM, or you’re working on some top-secret plan to end war, poverty, and human strife, as we know it.

When you pick up the phone I actually think to myself that you do have time to talk, and then when you tell me otherwise I get confused. Then on top of that I get to hear you tell me that the thing you’re in the middle of right now, is more important than talking to me but not important enough to ignore your phone.

So you answering the phone when you can’t talk, is not comforting at all, it’s actually a bit troubling.

Let’s break this down a little further shall we. Say I’m calling you. I have basically two objectives:

1) To speak/connect with you
2) To leave you a message if I can’t speak to you

You answering the phone deny me of both objectives. When you do this I actually get nothing out of the transaction, and remember I was the one that initiated contact: not you. Shouldn’t I be able to get something out of it? I would think so!

And if the phone ringing is annoying you just send me straight to VM. I’m a big boy, I can handle it! No secure person will get upset if the phone rings once and then gets jettisoned to VM. In fact I appreciate you more for not having me sit through the pointless 3-4 additional rings before VM is queued up.

The only time this behavior makes any sense is if you and I have set up a pre-determined time to chat, a phone date if you will. A mutually specified time to converse, and you answer the phone because you had to change the time of our conversation, due to your schedule being pre-empted.

Think about it. Stop doing it.

I hate people who have the audacity to think that they can actually tempt fate

Leave it up to human beings to think that they have the ability to change destiny by speaking something into existence. It’s 2011 and people are still doing stupid crap. We are well into the 21st century, and humanity still has to deal with this nonsense.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe in positive affirmations, and visualization techniques. It’s paramount that people have a vision for themselves especially because success is created in the brain before it can be born into the world. Having said that; let me give you an example of what I’m talking about with the speaking it stuff.

Some of us have been blessed/cursed with dark senses of humor. From time to time, we’ll say something out of the box to move a person out of their comfortable happy place. Usually we’ll take something cherished like children or old people and say something “insensitive” about them. Or we’ll say something about ourselves in a derogatory way, and someone will say, “You shouldn’t say that. You don’t want to put that type of stuff out in the air.”

Like the chemistry of my breath joining with this magical air is going to make my words come into fruition.

I don’t have that kind of power. Wish I did though because I would say things like.

20 Million, in my bank account, NOW…

Halle Berry, teddy, bedroom, NOW…

Cancer, cured, NOW…

Dallas Cowboys, Superbowl, NOW….

Take this a step further. People still feel like if they don’t say certain things bad things will happen.

Recently a friend informed me that his wife was pregnant. He was overjoyed at the news, and I was happy that he was happy so I congratulated him.

My friend’s a good dude. He just got married; his wife has a 7-year old daughter that he adores, and raises as his own. One of the things that I admire about him is his straight-forwardness and honesty. He’s a huge proponent of keeping it real.

He knew I had taken an interest in the pregnancy so he’d give me updates. A few weeks ago he told me that they were going in for the ultrasound/sonogram, and that they’d be made aware of the gender of the baby.

So of course I asked the obligatory question, but before I asked it, I paused, and thought inwardly, would this time be different? Would this honest, straightforward person give me a real answer or would he just regurgitate what so many mindless robots have vomited from the beginning of time. After calculating these 9 variables….

Already has a girl
Another girl would make the house 3-1 girls
A boy would complete the set
He’s a dude, why wouldn’t he want a boy to pass things down to?
A boy will carry the family name
Boys are easier to raise
Couple is advanced in age and probably won’t attempt having another child
Friend’s honesty
Friend's straight-forwardness

I felt comfortable that I was going to get a real answer. So I proceeded to ask the question; exactly like this…. “Hey friend of course the health of the baby is paramount, that being said, do you have a preference? Boy or girl?

Sidebar….

There are only four logical answers to this question, and one of them never gets thought of. I would have accepted any one of the four.

Yes, I prefer a girl.
Yes, I prefer a boy.
I have no preference.
My personal favorite, No, I want a hermaphrodite. That’s it. Only those four!

I didn’t have to wait long for his response. He said, “I just want a healthy baby.”

OK HERE WE GO!

The ignorance train just pulled into the station. Why do people say this? Of course you want a healthy baby. Who doesn’t? If given the choice healthy or unhealthy, an ape would choose healthy. Come on! Do you really think that saying this is going to somehow insure a healthy baby? 8 million children are born each year with a serious birth defect. You think those 16 million parents were hoping for an unhealthy baby or forgot to say aloud that they were hoping for a healthy baby.

I’m not asking about your baby’s health. It’s understood that we all want your baby to be healthy. My last name is not Dahmer, Kraczyski, Gacy, Manson, or Berkowitz.

You giving me the “I just want a healthy baby” to my question is the equivalent of me asking you do you prefer the black car or the red one? And you answer, “I just want a car that not going to run off the side of the road and kill me.”

This is worse than superstition. At least the superstitious know that their quirks are weird and outside of the norm. But these people, who insist on saying this, really do humanity a disservice because they believe that this is proper and normal behavior.

I beg you. Please stop saying this.

Sidebar…

I don’t have children, and if I’m ever blessed to have them I’m sure I’ll say something dumb like this, but believe me I’ll hate myself for it.