I hate the SID (Sports Information Director) at Auburn University

Last Saturday, Cam Newton a junior at Auburn University won the most prestigious award in collegiate football the Heisman Trophy. He won this award under the shadow of allegations that his father Cecil Newton was less than ethical during his son’s recruitment process last year.

Collegiate athletes amateur eligibility can be threatened if the NCAA can prove that the student or someone representing the student receives unfair benefits for playing college athletics. Cecil Newton was accused, by a school recruiting Cam, of soliciting cash payments for Cam’s commitment (pay for play) to Mississippi State University.

The charges were dropped by the NCAA, because there was no proof that the Newton’s received any money, and more importantly that Cam was aware of his fathers solicitation(s).

Cam Newton was the front-runner to win the Heisman Trophy for over 2 months. His play this year has been astounding and lead many to say he had the greatest year in college football history. In most experts eyes it was a forgone conclusion that Newton was going to win the award. So last Saturday felt more like a coronation than an awards show. Everyone who gathered at the Touchdown Club in New York knew who was going to take home the hardware.

So imagine my chagrin when Cam Newton got up to accept his award and he sounded as if he was trying to chew on a mouthful of golf ball. His speech was all of 7 paragraphs and he stumbled through each and every paragraph horribly. They, he and Auburn, had 2 months to come up with a suitable speech and they put this dreg out there for public consumption.

Moreover the content of the speech left much to be desired. I quote “My parents do a lot of things behind the scenes that go unnoticed” His dad is being accused of pimping his son out to the highest bidder and he uses the phrase “behind the scenes.” Are you kidding me? Who at Auburn proof read this? How on earth does that sentence see the light of day? This is a very delicate situation. You don’t let a young man do this to himself. Auburns SID should be fired.

Then Cam takes it to another level, speaking to his mother who was in attendance, and I quote “this award is not an award, in my opinion has been won by my play this year. This is an award that was won when I came out your WOMB.”

Now I may be old fashioned, but I don’t think it is appropriate to mention your mother’s private parts during an acceptance speech. These are the only times I would consider it reasonable to speak of your mother private parts in an acceptance speech.

1.You are winning an award for “Pimp of the Year” and your mom’s WOMB is your primary money- maker. You couldn’t have won the award without her WOMB!

2.Your mom lost her WOMB in a terrible accident when you were young, and you decided to become a doctor so that one day you would master a WOMB transplant. You successfully fix your mom’s WOMB and win the Nobel Prize for Medicine.

3.During your speech for winning any award your moms WOMB becomes combustible and you yell out for someone to put the fire out that started in your mom’s WOMB.

Outside of these 3 instances the word WOMB should never be uttered during an acceptance speech. The Newton family should sue the Auburn SID for negligence. At the very least he/she should be looking for a new job today.

I Hate Drama Junkies

“Taking ownership of something that doesn’t belong to you”

Introduction

One of the things I’ve notice over the last few years is mankind’s love affair with drama. You see it everywhere. It’s infected everyone. I’m no sexist, but this drama thing used to be reserved for women and children (throwing tantrums to get their way). Now it’s Men, women, and children. No one is immune to it.

I’m not sure if this is a product of an increased desire to be relevant in a society where people’s attention spans are the size of a knats; or if it’s just the expansion of the pussy-fication of the human species as a whole. But it’s getting increasingly more difficult to sit through the never-ending barrage of woe is me that is being slung on a daily basis. We live in a society where people would rather you feel bad for them then have you respect them.

I have a friend who’s Mom has cancer. Having this person as a friend, I frequently have conversations with her about her mom’s health and state of mind. Cancer is serious. Cancer is a very destructive disease, as we all know, and the treatments sometimes are just as destructive. I wish we could locate a cure for it especially for this ladies mom. Truly she is a jewel and if anyone deserves a cure it’s her.

Having said this, I use this experience as a way to highlight the dramatic behavior that some take on when their loved ones are faced with illness. As aforementioned, my friend and I have frequent discussions about her mother’s condition. She, on many occasions has expressed that it’s a trial for her (my friend) to see her mom in the condition that she is in.

She mentions the hardship that it takes on her (my friend) physically and mentally. She is taking ownership of something that doesn’t belong to her. As a human being I understand what she is saying, however the way she is saying it make me feel hate.

What is wrong with the statement?

Of course we have emotional ups and downs when we see our loved ones in pain. If we are connected to them on any level we “feel” their pain, but lets not lose sight of the ball here.

Her Mom is the one going through the trial. Her mom is the principle in the story. Her mom is the one we should feel for, and pray for. My friend is only a supporting character in the drama, but speaks as if she is the lead character. She is in her mom’s life for support, if she confuses that then she can’t be much good for her mom when the harder times come.

I liken this to men and their sports. It’s like having a favorite team and when you refer to them in conversation you say “we”. “We” almost won last night. Or I can’t believe “we” drafted him. What do you mean “we”? You don’t own that team, you don’t play on that team, and you are not a decision-maker for that team. You only support. And, the sooner you get that through your thick skull, the sooner, I can stop hating you.

Best Practice

Always have the proper perspective when speaking. Please make sure that everyone is aware that the loved ones suffering the illness is paramount. Attempt to refrain from mentioning yourself and what you are going through until asked. If you don’t it may seem as if you are consumed with self and looking at things from the wrong point of view.