When I was a poor college kid just getting by, I
went with a few friends down to Georgetown. We wanted to treat ourselves to a
nice meal, so we decided to go to Sequoia. It's right there on the waterfront
with a perfect view of the Kennedy Center. This place quickly became my
“closing” spot in DC. Gentlemen if you live in DC trust me... This is the spot
where you can put some serious points on the scoreboard, but I digress. So we
ate at this fine dining establishment. Filled our bellies, the check came. I
grabbed it so I could divide it up and as I scanned the bill I asked
aloud....Who ordered the GRATIUTY? I had no idea what gratuity was...all I knew
was it was pricey. BYGONES...
So fellas...picture this you've asked a female out
for a meal. Could be friend, someone you're trying to get close to, co-worker or
acquaintance. You go out. You're having a great time. Conversation is flowing,
good vibes are permeating and happy feelings are everywhere. At the end of the
meal the server brings the bill. Lays it down in front of you because you look
the part. Society dictates that you pay. A) because you invited her...and B)
because you're a man. MEN... We have accepted this. We hold this truth to be
self-evident. We have no qualms with it. In fact we enjoy it. It's expected of a
gentleman. Any self respecting man grabs that check... pulls out his wallet, and
pays the piper.... No questions asked....no strings attached. IT'S WHAT WE
DO.
WHAT WE HATE is when the lady we're treating asks
“how much it was?”...”I want to know so I can leave the tip” What the fuck is
this? What kind of 15% Jedi Mind Trick is this? I consider myself a pretty
intelligent dude and for the life of me I can't figure out why women don't
understand that we hate this. I know what they are trying to do...they are
trying to let us know that they appreciate the meal, and they are trying to get
rid of the guilt of not asking to go DUTCH, so they think “putting something on
it” will be sufficient. They don't understand it's insulting to us.
We asked you out. Obviously we can afford to pay
for the meal. If the TIP is going to be the “tipping point” why invite someone
out? When a man buys flowers or chocolates you don't ask the total so you can
pay 15% …..so why a meal? And by the way... paying the tip isn't even paying for
a portion of the meal. You're not really giving me anything back for your
portion of the meal.. What you're doing is paying the stranger that brought out
the food. So let me get this straight... I invite you out. I show you a nice
time. I pay for the food/drinks etc.... and you give money to the help...to show
ME your appreciation. Seriously...how do you not know that this is a terrible
idea?
When men get together and share a meal NO ONE SAYS
I'll get the TIP.... and when WOMEN get together NO ONE SAYS I'll get the TIP.
Look... I know it's hard. You want to be treated
well. You don't always want to go DUTCH, and yet in still you don't want to give
men the wrong impression. I get it. So here's what you do. I call this the 20%
rule. If you spend time with a generous person that picks up the tab regularly
EVERY 5th outing take care of the bill. Or invite him out for coffee
or a movie and tell him you're treating...Also pay attention. The guy isn't
going to offer to pay the tip...Which should be the greatest indicator that you
never should either.
