Just because your first name starts
with an L, and your last name starts with a T doesn't give you the
right to call yourself “LT” especially if you play professional
football. We've let this slide long enough. LaDainian Tomlinson is
not “LT” There is only ONE “LT”. His name is Lawrence
Taylor, and he is the best defensive player in NFL history. You
can't steal his name because your parents gave you a dumb name like
LaDainian and it's too hard and arduous for people to pronounce.
People at NFL Network should be ashamed of themselves for falling for
the banana in the tailpipe. So henceforth LaDainian
Tomlinsons....your nickname is LD.
Similarly there is a NASCAR driver
going around calling himself Jimmie Johnson. He obviously thinks
it's okay because he spells it with an 'IE' instead of the 'Y'. It's
NOT okay Jimmie! There is only ONE Jimmy Johnson and he is the
former coach of the National Champion Miami Hurricanes, and the World
Champion Dallas Cowboys. So henceforth Jimmie Johnson your name is
JJ or DoubleJ.
Look... Wallace from “The Wire” got
it right. His parents named him Michael Jordan. He knew that
wouldn't fly so he acts under the name Michael B. Jordan.
Dumb Dwight Howard got it wrong when he
stole the Superman moniker from Shaq. First of all Shaq was still
playing... Secondly Shaq has a large Superman tattoo on his bicep....
Thirdly Dwight could have easily chose Iron Man which is a better fit
especially when he plays for a team now that’s colors are red and
yellow.
History, literally teaches us this
lesson. The 2nd President of the United States was John
Adam.... The 6th President was John Adams, but he branded
himself John Quincy Adams. If he can do it Tomlinson and Johnson can
also acquiesce.
A few years back I was at home, and had
the television going in the background. The Kentucky Derby was on.
I heard the sportscaster say “Stay tuned we have a special report
coming up from Randy Moss.” I had to do a retake. I hit the DVR
and listened to it again... Did he say Randy Moss? Oh shit.... Randy
Moss is into horse racing. I knew he was from West Virginia, but
this is some out of the box stuff. The entire 4 minutes of
commercial time was filled with excitement. Can you believe my
chagrin when NBC went back to the Derby, and Randy Moss was a white
bald pasty dude? WTF! Dude. Randy Moss is one of the most
recognizable names in sports. I don't care what your parents named
you.... You have a moral obligation to change it once someone takes
it to heights you'll never be able to achieve. But wait there's
more. This dude had the audacity to start working NFL beats, and
doing NFL games. Are you serious? Unforgivable dude...
Unforgivable... So henceforth Randy Moss your new name is Blank
Hole!
