Hate the Game, Not the Player - Haynesworth is Right

Amid all the criticism of Albert Haynesworth from the media, fans, and his very own peers, no clear analytical argument has been formed to prove to me that he is wrong for taking that stance of not wanting to switch his playing position.

The media has labeled him lazy. The fans has labeled him ungrateful, and his peers have called him disloyal, but allow me to put you in his shoes for a few moments. Every story has two sides to it.

First and foremost you don't become and All Pro NFL player by being lazy. Haynesworth prior to becoming a free agent in the spring of 2009 dominated opponents for the better part of three years a the DEFENSIVE TACKLE position. He was so dominant that the Redskins signed him to a 100M contract, and had a press conference to announce to the world that they were happy to pay him.

100M with 41M guaranteed is quarterback money. He was making much more than the QB at the time (Jason Campbell) was making. Which would lead a rational person to believe that he was the most important player on the team.

YOU DON'T ASK YOUR MOST IMPORTANT PLAYER TO CHANGE POSITIONS THROUGH THE MEDIA!

Can you imagine being in Chicago one morning, and Brian Urlacher wakes up and reads in the Tribune that Lovey Smith is quoted as saying that the Bears are unilaterally moving Urlacher to safety?

Football purest will say that a move from DT to NT is not that big of deal since both are considered interior line positions. But tell that to a players body on Mondays after a grueling day of double-teams, or tell it to a players Hall of Fame aspirations when his stat lines and resumes are compared at the highest level.

In my opinion asking a DT to move to NT is the equivalent of asking your Tom Brady's or Peyton Manning's of the world to abandon the drop back passing games, that they excel at, to run the wishbone or spread options. It's utterly ridiculous.

Haynesworth is not lazy, ungrateful, or disloyal, he's just right. Take the money, fanaticism, and propaganda out of the narrative and you'll see it that way too.

I hate people who think "Kobe is better than Jordan"

“The Copycat Killer”
Bean v MJ

The Basketball Media’s job is to sell basketball at all cost. They must sell basketball because their livelihood depends on it. If we don’t watch, they don’t have an audience to write and talk to. So when they make provocative, ridiculous statements, bordering on the absurd, just know that they are doing this as part of a thing I like to call “self preservation” and please, please whatever you do, do NOT take them seriously.

Less than three weeks ago the entire basketball world was anointing Lebron James as the best basketball player in the world. The MVP voting was virtually unanimous.
Even Magic Johnson proclaimed that King James was the holder of the proverbial “torch” owned by the best in the game.

So imagine my chagrin when 21 days later, after Kobe has a great close out game against the Phoenix Suns in the Western Conference Finals, I start to here the propaganda machine crank up and spit out this one.

“Kobe Bryant is as good if not better than Michael Jordan”

WTF. This is a marketing ploy, something to get fannies in the seat, and eyes on the TV. Period. Move along people. There is nothing to see here, and I mean NOTHING.

Michael Jordan is the G.O.A.T., the original serial killer of basketball. He was diabolical, ruthless, relentless, and once he perfected the kill, there was nothing like him. He was a true force of nature, and at his best was unbeatable. Before him there were killers, Russell, the Big O, and Bird, but MJ took killing to a whole different level.

Jordan loved the kill. He loved removing his opponents heart, and seeing the frightened look in their eyes as it was pounding in his hand. He kept score like a megalomaniac. He enjoyed destroying his opponents just as much as he enjoyed winning.

Kobe Bryant is a great player. He’s the most elegant basketball player of his time. His footwork is impeccable; his jump shot is art, and his basketball IQ is Mensa worthy. When it’s all said and done he will go down as the most accomplished basketball player ever. Somewhere around 2017 he’ll retire with;

At least 1 MVP
1-3 Finals MVP’s
4-7 Championships
40K points (All time NBA scoring leader)





A very impressive resume, but he doesn’t eclipse MJ. Why? Because Bean is the copycat of the true killer. He’s is following the MJ blueprint. He has patterned his kills after his idol. He walks like MJ, talks like MJ, celebrates like MJ. He’s the greatest mimic of all time. You can’t be better than someone when you are channeling him, to perform at your best; when you need his very existence to be your best you.

We recognize MJ as the original. He was raw determination and gifted athleticism all wrapped up in a nice bundle of F you. We appreciate him because we never saw anything like him. He was merciless and unrelenting. The reason Bean can’t be better is because we’ve seen him before. He’s a Xerox copy of MJ, a two dimensional killer. We can only see him through the MJ lense and that’s why he logically can’t be better.

Kobe is the obsessed guy you see on the crime flicks that idolizes the serial killer, writes him, make friends with him, and then is manipulated to carry out the original killer’s cruel intentions. Duplicating the master’s work, basically an extension of the true killer. He can’t stand alone, and is nothing without his master.

All these new guys have no shot of surpassing MJ because they don’t have the killer instinct. Can you imagine MJ being best friends with rivals? NO! Can you imagine him going to a Free Agent Summit, and playing nice with people that he wanted to destroy? NO! Are you kidding me? When the Bulls were looking at the best European player at the time (Tony Kukoc) to help the Bulls, the killer inside of MJ wanted to rip out Kukoc’s intestines and feed them to him and the GM for suggesting that he needed help. This was a perspective teammate for Christ sake. The man was an animal.

Like most serial killers he was born with a thirst for the kill, he just didn’t know it yet. MJ needed a stressor in order to be unleashed on the world. He got it in High School. This killer was conceived when he didn’t make the varsity basketball team. It was a dark day, and the world was never the same after that. His first kill was in 1982, when on a team that had the likes of James Worthy and Sam Perkins; he #23 in Carolina Blue sank the jumper that gave Dean Smith his 1st National Championship. He developed his signature when Isiah and the boys froze him out at the All Star Game. And then he went on a killing spree the like no one has seen before or sense. He left so many hall of fame players in his wake; Ewing, Barkley, Miller, Payton, Stockton, and Malone all were sacrificed to feed his insatiable need for blood.

He killed the best of the best, and he got away scott-free. But in 2009 he did something that only the greatest could do. In a virtuoso move, like Keyser Soze had whispered in his ear, he confessed. Everyone was there to celebrate him, but he needed to feed the killer just one last time. At his Hall of Fame speech he told us where all the bodies were buried, how he killed each and everyone one of them, and most importantly why he had to do it. Why those poor innocents had to die. Why he had to have all the titles and leave them with nothing but broken hearts and gaping holes in their resumes. It was beautiful. It was fitting. It was brilliant. Some thought he should shown remorse for his crimes. But there he was the hero wearing the black hat, smirking as he took us to that dark place. No remorse at all, and we loved him for it.

We love Kobe (no homo) but Enjoy Kobe for what he is; the next killer in a line of killers. But know and understand there is only one Jack the Ripper, and his name is Michael Jeffrey Jordan. The Prosecution rests.

I hate people who say "call me when you get home"

INTRODUCTION:


Have you ever been out with a friend? It’s getting late. You decide to call it an evening. You drive your friend home. There is some small talk. You arrive at your destination. Your friend exits the car, and then right before he/she closes the door they say “Hey, call me when you get in OK.”

You’ve heard the statement a thousands times before. It’s nothing new. If you didn’t hear it, you probably would have thought something was wrong. It’s the natural thing to say in that situation.

Right?

The phrase has become the punctuation that ends every night out.

When you hear it you feel good for some reason. You reset yourself and then you head home. And when you arrive you pull out your phone and either call or text your friend. Let him/her know you arrived safely and you retire for the evening. Job well done!

Have you ever once taken a second to evaluate this ritual? What does it mean to you? Why is it so socially accepted? Why does is make you feel good when you hear it?



I’ve taken a second and even a third look at it, and I still don’t know why the statement is used so much. It makes absolutely no sense. Just taking a cursory examination of it I’ve come up with the following;

This is by far the most arrogant statement I’ve ever heard. It reeks of self-importance, stupidity, and laziness. The problem is no one can see the arrogance because it’s wrapped in an sweet package. Hearing this statement will make the non-astute feel loved and cared for. They’ll say to themselves “ Wow, this person sounds concerned about my well being”.

This statement is the “Trojan Horse” of all cliché statements. It’s a pleasantry placed in an attractive package that has something ominous inside. The only difference between this and the “Trojan Horse” is that the country giving the horse as the gift purposely concealed it’s cruel intent, while stupid people use this cliché because it sounds like an awesome thing to say to someone.

The person making the statement paints the illusion that they are sensitive and humane. The Prestige of it all is that the statement almost sounds altruistic. Listen to it again. “Call me when you in”. This statement appears so gentile, so obviously nice, and sweet, and at the same time so very empty to me.






WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE STATEMENT:


The statement is self-important because you only say it when someone is leaving your presence. You don’t ask the individual to call you every time they get in, only when they are leaving your presence. The statement could make some sense aesthetically if you used it when you were not the person being departed from.

Also the statement is lazy. If you really cared about my safety you would be sure to call me when you thought I would get in. Why are you making the person leaving do the work and remember to telephone you? Don’t they have enough on their plate? Remember their agenda is already full with getting home safely, now they have to remember to call your lazy ass because you won’t pick up the phone and call them. Amazing!

BEST PRACTICE:

If you are really concerned ask the party leaving “What time do you plan to get in?” Then tell them that you will call them to make sure they get in safely. This sends the correct message that you are concerned and that you will be responsible for making the phone call to assure the safety of the person you care for.

Hate Manifesto

I’m a despicable human being.

I am.

I have no reservation in acknowledging this.

I’m at ease with my assertion because I believe wholeheartedly that I’m not alone in this.

You are a despicable human being as well.

You just haven’t realized it yet.
Human beings are dark, depraved, animals at our cores.
We hate everything!
We are a society full of HATE!
We are Haters!
Hate fuels us. It keeps us up at night. It overwhelms, and consumes us.
Love is OK but hate feels GREAT!
Love exists in our hearts but hate dwells in our bellys.

When it is clear that love heals and that our homes, our communities, our country, and our world, would be in a lot better shape if we loved more, why is it that we so often chose hate as our bedfellow?

Well…. Hate, simply put, is delightful. We are at our happiest when we hate. We love to hate. Hate allows us to tap into places that we didn’t know existed. It’s the catalyst that allows us to explore virgin territory within us.

My favorite movie is “Pulp Fiction”. I love this movie. The dialogue, the disjointed chronology, the acting are all genius. My least favorite move is “Eyes Wide Shut.” I hate this movie. It’s the worst. It’s so bad I have to recruit others to hate it as much as I do. When engaged in conversation about modern cinema I am always primarily compelled to share my hate for this movie. You would think that I would be quick to mention my favorites, but I’m not. Although I love “Pulp Fiction”, I’m more passionate about my hate for this overrated, poorly acted, thinly plotted, piece of dung that Stanley Kubrick created.

Why is this?

Hate taps into the passion within us. And passion feels fantastic! Passion is intense and immediate. Ever heard someone say “I love her with a passion?” Nope: because love is simple. But we all have heard “ I hate him with a passion.” Passion is complex, and hate is diverse. It can take the form of so many things.

Hate is addictive. It’s better than any drug ever created. We love to hate because it feels good. Hate feels right. Admit it. You know it does! Hate makes us feel better about ourselves. Hate is therapeutic.

I’ve avoided therapy because I’ve tapped into my hate. I’ve attempted to uncover and understand the darker side of myself. I’ve become comfortable with it. Hate has become my wonderful lifelong companion.

The first rule of hate is to understand what you should and should not hate. Hating people is elementary. I don’t believe in it, it’s a big waste of time, and counterproductive to personal growth. Additionally, and more importantly, hatred of people is limited. Why hate individuals when you can multiply your hate by all the stupid things they do and say.

I’m a voyeur. People watcher if you will. I pay close attention to personal behavior and attempt to understand it in an analytical way. Like any good scientist I question everything. And, in deference to Einstein, not to just see things the way they are but rather how they should be.
In an attempt at full disclosure, I’m no PHD; I’m just a regular guy who pays attention. So this book is the result of my many observations about the annoying and dumb things people perpetuate, but more importantly why we should hate their stupid contributions to our already compromised society?

I ‘d like to show you a few things if you don’t mind; things that you do, and probably don’t even know why you do them. You know…dumb shit! I’ve kept a journal of all the dumb shit that people do. I’d like to invite you to my personal darkness.

My concentration will be mostly on dumb things people say, and why it’s utterly ridiculous for some behavior to still exist in our advanced civilization. Some of the sayings are so embedded in our human fabric that an extra heavy dose of Tide probably couldn’t get the stain out. But, we’re going to have fun trying. ENJOY!