“The Copycat Killer”
Bean v MJ
The Basketball Media’s job is to sell basketball at all cost. They must sell basketball because their livelihood depends on it. If we don’t watch, they don’t have an audience to write and talk to. So when they make provocative, ridiculous statements, bordering on the absurd, just know that they are doing this as part of a thing I like to call “self preservation” and please, please whatever you do, do NOT take them seriously.
Less than three weeks ago the entire basketball world was anointing Lebron James as the best basketball player in the world. The MVP voting was virtually unanimous.
Even Magic Johnson proclaimed that King James was the holder of the proverbial “torch” owned by the best in the game.
So imagine my chagrin when 21 days later, after Kobe has a great close out game against the Phoenix Suns in the Western Conference Finals, I start to here the propaganda machine crank up and spit out this one.
“Kobe Bryant is as good if not better than Michael Jordan”
WTF. This is a marketing ploy, something to get fannies in the seat, and eyes on the TV. Period. Move along people. There is nothing to see here, and I mean NOTHING.
Michael Jordan is the G.O.A.T., the original serial killer of basketball. He was diabolical, ruthless, relentless, and once he perfected the kill, there was nothing like him. He was a true force of nature, and at his best was unbeatable. Before him there were killers, Russell, the Big O, and Bird, but MJ took killing to a whole different level.
Jordan loved the kill. He loved removing his opponents heart, and seeing the frightened look in their eyes as it was pounding in his hand. He kept score like a megalomaniac. He enjoyed destroying his opponents just as much as he enjoyed winning.
Kobe Bryant is a great player. He’s the most elegant basketball player of his time. His footwork is impeccable; his jump shot is art, and his basketball IQ is Mensa worthy. When it’s all said and done he will go down as the most accomplished basketball player ever. Somewhere around 2017 he’ll retire with;
At least 1 MVP
1-3 Finals MVP’s
4-7 Championships
40K points (All time NBA scoring leader)
A very impressive resume, but he doesn’t eclipse MJ. Why? Because Bean is the copycat of the true killer. He’s is following the MJ blueprint. He has patterned his kills after his idol. He walks like MJ, talks like MJ, celebrates like MJ. He’s the greatest mimic of all time. You can’t be better than someone when you are channeling him, to perform at your best; when you need his very existence to be your best you.
We recognize MJ as the original. He was raw determination and gifted athleticism all wrapped up in a nice bundle of F you. We appreciate him because we never saw anything like him. He was merciless and unrelenting. The reason Bean can’t be better is because we’ve seen him before. He’s a Xerox copy of MJ, a two dimensional killer. We can only see him through the MJ lense and that’s why he logically can’t be better.
Kobe is the obsessed guy you see on the crime flicks that idolizes the serial killer, writes him, make friends with him, and then is manipulated to carry out the original killer’s cruel intentions. Duplicating the master’s work, basically an extension of the true killer. He can’t stand alone, and is nothing without his master.
All these new guys have no shot of surpassing MJ because they don’t have the killer instinct. Can you imagine MJ being best friends with rivals? NO! Can you imagine him going to a Free Agent Summit, and playing nice with people that he wanted to destroy? NO! Are you kidding me? When the Bulls were looking at the best European player at the time (Tony Kukoc) to help the Bulls, the killer inside of MJ wanted to rip out Kukoc’s intestines and feed them to him and the GM for suggesting that he needed help. This was a perspective teammate for Christ sake. The man was an animal.
Like most serial killers he was born with a thirst for the kill, he just didn’t know it yet. MJ needed a stressor in order to be unleashed on the world. He got it in High School. This killer was conceived when he didn’t make the varsity basketball team. It was a dark day, and the world was never the same after that. His first kill was in 1982, when on a team that had the likes of James Worthy and Sam Perkins; he #23 in Carolina Blue sank the jumper that gave Dean Smith his 1st National Championship. He developed his signature when Isiah and the boys froze him out at the All Star Game. And then he went on a killing spree the like no one has seen before or sense. He left so many hall of fame players in his wake; Ewing, Barkley, Miller, Payton, Stockton, and Malone all were sacrificed to feed his insatiable need for blood.
He killed the best of the best, and he got away scott-free. But in 2009 he did something that only the greatest could do. In a virtuoso move, like Keyser Soze had whispered in his ear, he confessed. Everyone was there to celebrate him, but he needed to feed the killer just one last time. At his Hall of Fame speech he told us where all the bodies were buried, how he killed each and everyone one of them, and most importantly why he had to do it. Why those poor innocents had to die. Why he had to have all the titles and leave them with nothing but broken hearts and gaping holes in their resumes. It was beautiful. It was fitting. It was brilliant. Some thought he should shown remorse for his crimes. But there he was the hero wearing the black hat, smirking as he took us to that dark place. No remorse at all, and we loved him for it.
We love Kobe (no homo) but Enjoy Kobe for what he is; the next killer in a line of killers. But know and understand there is only one Jack the Ripper, and his name is Michael Jeffrey Jordan. The Prosecution rests.
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