I hate people who say "call me when you get home"

INTRODUCTION:


Have you ever been out with a friend? It’s getting late. You decide to call it an evening. You drive your friend home. There is some small talk. You arrive at your destination. Your friend exits the car, and then right before he/she closes the door they say “Hey, call me when you get in OK.”

You’ve heard the statement a thousands times before. It’s nothing new. If you didn’t hear it, you probably would have thought something was wrong. It’s the natural thing to say in that situation.

Right?

The phrase has become the punctuation that ends every night out.

When you hear it you feel good for some reason. You reset yourself and then you head home. And when you arrive you pull out your phone and either call or text your friend. Let him/her know you arrived safely and you retire for the evening. Job well done!

Have you ever once taken a second to evaluate this ritual? What does it mean to you? Why is it so socially accepted? Why does is make you feel good when you hear it?



I’ve taken a second and even a third look at it, and I still don’t know why the statement is used so much. It makes absolutely no sense. Just taking a cursory examination of it I’ve come up with the following;

This is by far the most arrogant statement I’ve ever heard. It reeks of self-importance, stupidity, and laziness. The problem is no one can see the arrogance because it’s wrapped in an sweet package. Hearing this statement will make the non-astute feel loved and cared for. They’ll say to themselves “ Wow, this person sounds concerned about my well being”.

This statement is the “Trojan Horse” of all cliché statements. It’s a pleasantry placed in an attractive package that has something ominous inside. The only difference between this and the “Trojan Horse” is that the country giving the horse as the gift purposely concealed it’s cruel intent, while stupid people use this cliché because it sounds like an awesome thing to say to someone.

The person making the statement paints the illusion that they are sensitive and humane. The Prestige of it all is that the statement almost sounds altruistic. Listen to it again. “Call me when you in”. This statement appears so gentile, so obviously nice, and sweet, and at the same time so very empty to me.






WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE STATEMENT:


The statement is self-important because you only say it when someone is leaving your presence. You don’t ask the individual to call you every time they get in, only when they are leaving your presence. The statement could make some sense aesthetically if you used it when you were not the person being departed from.

Also the statement is lazy. If you really cared about my safety you would be sure to call me when you thought I would get in. Why are you making the person leaving do the work and remember to telephone you? Don’t they have enough on their plate? Remember their agenda is already full with getting home safely, now they have to remember to call your lazy ass because you won’t pick up the phone and call them. Amazing!

BEST PRACTICE:

If you are really concerned ask the party leaving “What time do you plan to get in?” Then tell them that you will call them to make sure they get in safely. This sends the correct message that you are concerned and that you will be responsible for making the phone call to assure the safety of the person you care for.