Tell me if this has ever happened to you. You pick up the phone and dial someone. The phone rings a few times. You’re prepared to leave a message. The person you called answers. You start your typical greeting and then the person says.
“Hey I’m really busy, can I call you back later?”
You say, “Okay” and then the call is terminated.
Don’t you usually feel a little weird afterward? The weirdness normally subsides within seconds because you’re so use to the behavior. It happens all the time now. You’re immune to it. You probably don’t even know why you feel weird in the first place.
If you’re over 30 years of age this behavior is weird because you remember a time when phones weren’t attached to people. You remember the phones being in centralized areas of your home.
What you DON’T remember is someone ever answering the phone and then telling the person on the other end “Hey, I’m really busy, can I call you back later?” You know why you never heard it, because it’s a stupid asinine thing to do.
Back then when you were too busy to talk you chose to NOT ANSWER THE PHONE. It makes very little sense to answer when you can’t talk. If you don’t have much time, why deplete it by answering the phone at all? Why would you cut into your already hectic schedule to pick up a phone that you’re not going to use?
If you ever get intellectually curious and ask someone why he/she does it, they’ll say, “I just wanted to let you know I couldn’t talk.” They don’t realize that I get the same clue if they don’t answer the phone at all. In fact that’s the first thing that goes through my mind when the phone goes to voice mail. Then being courteous I actually consider the importance of my query even before leaving a message. Will it be worth their time to check this message? Can I get the information I need from another resource?
Also when you just don’t answer I can say to myself. The phone isn’t nearby, you couldn’t get to it before it went to VM, or you’re working on some top-secret plan to end war, poverty, and human strife, as we know it.
When you pick up the phone I actually think to myself that you do have time to talk, and then when you tell me otherwise I get confused. Then on top of that I get to hear you tell me that the thing you’re in the middle of right now, is more important than talking to me but not important enough to ignore your phone.
So you answering the phone when you can’t talk, is not comforting at all, it’s actually a bit troubling.
Let’s break this down a little further shall we. Say I’m calling you. I have basically two objectives:
1) To speak/connect with you
2) To leave you a message if I can’t speak to you
You answering the phone deny me of both objectives. When you do this I actually get nothing out of the transaction, and remember I was the one that initiated contact: not you. Shouldn’t I be able to get something out of it? I would think so!
And if the phone ringing is annoying you just send me straight to VM. I’m a big boy, I can handle it! No secure person will get upset if the phone rings once and then gets jettisoned to VM. In fact I appreciate you more for not having me sit through the pointless 3-4 additional rings before VM is queued up.
The only time this behavior makes any sense is if you and I have set up a pre-determined time to chat, a phone date if you will. A mutually specified time to converse, and you answer the phone because you had to change the time of our conversation, due to your schedule being pre-empted.
Think about it. Stop doing it.
“Hey I’m really busy, can I call you back later?”
You say, “Okay” and then the call is terminated.
Don’t you usually feel a little weird afterward? The weirdness normally subsides within seconds because you’re so use to the behavior. It happens all the time now. You’re immune to it. You probably don’t even know why you feel weird in the first place.
If you’re over 30 years of age this behavior is weird because you remember a time when phones weren’t attached to people. You remember the phones being in centralized areas of your home.
What you DON’T remember is someone ever answering the phone and then telling the person on the other end “Hey, I’m really busy, can I call you back later?” You know why you never heard it, because it’s a stupid asinine thing to do.
Back then when you were too busy to talk you chose to NOT ANSWER THE PHONE. It makes very little sense to answer when you can’t talk. If you don’t have much time, why deplete it by answering the phone at all? Why would you cut into your already hectic schedule to pick up a phone that you’re not going to use?
If you ever get intellectually curious and ask someone why he/she does it, they’ll say, “I just wanted to let you know I couldn’t talk.” They don’t realize that I get the same clue if they don’t answer the phone at all. In fact that’s the first thing that goes through my mind when the phone goes to voice mail. Then being courteous I actually consider the importance of my query even before leaving a message. Will it be worth their time to check this message? Can I get the information I need from another resource?
Also when you just don’t answer I can say to myself. The phone isn’t nearby, you couldn’t get to it before it went to VM, or you’re working on some top-secret plan to end war, poverty, and human strife, as we know it.
When you pick up the phone I actually think to myself that you do have time to talk, and then when you tell me otherwise I get confused. Then on top of that I get to hear you tell me that the thing you’re in the middle of right now, is more important than talking to me but not important enough to ignore your phone.
So you answering the phone when you can’t talk, is not comforting at all, it’s actually a bit troubling.
Let’s break this down a little further shall we. Say I’m calling you. I have basically two objectives:
1) To speak/connect with you
2) To leave you a message if I can’t speak to you
You answering the phone deny me of both objectives. When you do this I actually get nothing out of the transaction, and remember I was the one that initiated contact: not you. Shouldn’t I be able to get something out of it? I would think so!
And if the phone ringing is annoying you just send me straight to VM. I’m a big boy, I can handle it! No secure person will get upset if the phone rings once and then gets jettisoned to VM. In fact I appreciate you more for not having me sit through the pointless 3-4 additional rings before VM is queued up.
The only time this behavior makes any sense is if you and I have set up a pre-determined time to chat, a phone date if you will. A mutually specified time to converse, and you answer the phone because you had to change the time of our conversation, due to your schedule being pre-empted.
Think about it. Stop doing it.
