Peyton Manning is the devil.
He is an arrogant, narcissistic, control freak, savant who has to dominate every situation he involves himself in. He’s the devil because he’s more subtle than any beast of the field. His public persona is polar opposite of who he is. He is considered a saint. Read anything written about him and you will undoubtedly find these words; hard working, perfectionist, leader, commander, genius. I submit that if you allow yourself to really think about Manning, and his career, you’ll come to the conclusion that he is a megalomaniac that probably wakes up every day, and wonders when someone will approach him, and tell him he’s not wearing any clothes.
Exhibit A – (Pride) The Manning Offense
The “Manning Offense” is ordinary. Manning’s teams have never ended the season ranked as the top-rated offense in the league. Never! Manning’s offense works in the regular season when his savant like focus helps him prepare more than his competitors. His regular season record is 141-67 (.678). However in the playoffs when teams are faced with sudden death elimination, and they prepare on a “manning” type level his record is 9-10 (.473).
Manning has a 2 to 1 TD to Interception ratio QBR 94.9 in the regular season, and a 3 to 2 ratio - QBR 88.4 in the playoffs. Many of the all time greats like Montana, Bradshaw, Brady, and Aikman dominate playoff games at a higher clip than the regular season. They seem to elevate their play in the biggest moments. Manning doesn't.
Exhibit B – (Gluttony) The MVP’s
Manning’s need to be most valuable has an OCD feel to it. Manning has won 4 NFL MVP awards. In 2011, a year in which he didn’t take a snap, many were clamoring that he should be named the MVP because his team played so poorly without him. Most years the MVP is awarded to the player that had the best season, but many media outlets, fans, and football experts wanted to give it to a guy that didn’t have a season. Why? Because Manning created a situation in Indianapolis where he became bigger than the team. The team was built to his specifications. He allowed people to call him the de-facto offensive coordinator. In the ultimate team sport he was much bigger than the team; which lead to a season where, in his absence, the Colts fell apart, and lost its first 13 games. Who would build a team like that? That’s why Jim Irsay took the first opportunity he got to correct the problem. Irsay is probably the only person to ever say "NO" to Manning.
Exhibit C – (Sloth) The Back-ups
Who are Jim Sorgi, and Curtis Painter? Why would a person that cared so much about his team not suggest to the player personnel people to enlist a quality back-up just in case there was an unforeseen injury situation? Manning cared more about having a weak clip board holder than having an adequate insurance plan for the Colts.
Manning signed with the Broncos today, and word on the street is Tebow has to go. Why? Why not keep him, and groom him under the “greatest QB of all time?” Answer…Manning doesn’t feel comfortable having anyone of value behind him.
Exhibit D – (Greed) Money
Peyton Manning never took a discount. Manning’s last three contracts broke the bank. He took the starting QB money and the Back-ups money as well. He makes more money off the field than any other NFL player. If he really cared about his team why wouldn’t he take a discount and surround himself with better players. Brady and Aikman both took less money to sustain their respective teams.
In July 2011 Manning signed a contract that would pay him $54 Million by March of 2012. I have yet to see anyone question this. Manning had just had neck surgery and was rehabbing. He had to know he would miss some time, and at best wouldn’t be 100% for the 2011 season, and still thought it fare to take $54 million over a 9 month period.
Exhibit E – (Lust) The Manchurian QB
The media loves Peyton Manning. He’s a family man. He’s hard working. He’s a philanthropist. He has a children’s hospital with his name on it for goodness sake. He can do no wrong. He wants to mind screw everyone, and make us all fall in love with him. Doesn’t this make you a little nervous?
Exhibit F – (Envy) The Good Son
Did anyone else think it was weird that during Eli’s big moment (Super Bowl week), Peyton was leaking information about his health and his desire to stay in Indianapolis? Why not let Eli have the week? There was still a month left before Peyton and the Colts had to make a decision. Peyton couldn’t help himself he had to make himself the story.
Exhibit G - (Wrath) Free Agency 2012
Manning could have retired. He’s had (4) neck surgeries. He’s a family man. He has more money than he could ever spend. Why come back and play this gladiator sport? His ego won’t let him leave. He has to exact revenge on the one or two people that doubt him. It’s funny because he’s coming back to “re-capture” a crown that he never had. He’s never been a great QB. Right now he’s not even a top 5 QB in the league. I’d take Brees, Brady, Rodgers, Eli, and Big Ben ahead of him. The NFL Network was calling him the most sought-after free agent of all time. How soon they forget Reggie White, and Deion Sanders. This week he chose Denver over San Francisco. One would think if it was all about winning he would have chose the 49ers. Better coach, better defense, better city, better chance of winning a Super Bowl. Manning chose the Broncos because they were weak, and they will allow him to run the team in his very mediocre way.
Exhibit H – The Steak Dinner
This is an example of Manning hurting the innocent. In 2002 I bet a friend of mine from Philadelphia (I lived in Washington DC at the time) a steak dinner at Morton's that Peyton Manning would never win a Super Bowl. He gladly accepted the bet. He thought he was getting the best of it. I had observed Manning play 4 years in the SEC and 4 professional seasons, and knew he didn’t have what it took to win the big one. He always folded under pressure. I was planning on collecting my steak dinner somewhere around the fall of 2013. Then something inexplicable happened. Manning sold his soul to the devil in 2006 and won the big game. I couldn’t believe it. In a satanic turn the likes of which we hadn’t seen since Johnny Favorite bedded Epiphany Proudfoot, Manning got his devilish paws on the Lombardi.
A closer look will show that the Angel of Darkness had his fingerprints all over this one. Manning had a “Slumdog Millionaire” run in the 2006 playoffs. He faced the Chiefs in game 1 of the playoffs; a team that backed into the post-seasons and was happy to lie down to the Colts. Next the Colts had to go to Baltimore and play maybe the worst #1 Seed in NFL history. The Raven’s QB Steve McNair was a shell of himself after a brutal regular season. Manning couldn’t score a TD that day, but beat the hapless Ravens 15-6. On the other side of the bracket the Patriots got totally outplayed by the Chargers but won, which allowed the Colts to host the AFC Championship game.
In that game New England jumped out to a 21-6 halftime lead. Manning was choking again in the big game. And then uncharacteristically the Patriots fell apart and allowed the Colts to gain momentum and steal a game that should have never been close. All three wins were fortuitous but this is how I know for sure that something freaky was happening that year, the Colts opposition in the Super Bowl (the Bears) was coached by Tony Dungy’s mentee Lovie Smith. And more importantly Smith's defensive scheme was the same scheme Dungy taught him, and the identical defense that Manning saw every day in practice. The demonic stars were all aligned that year. And due to the fact that I had moved to Atlanta by 2006 a steak dinner that would have cost me $300 dollars ended up costing me $1,000.
Everything is not as it seems with Peyton Manning. Isn't it the devils job to beguile the whole world. In biblical times he was a snake. In modern times he's a quaterback that wears #18.
