I hate the term "Patently Untrue"

 

　

Sometimes I wish there were a vaccine that inoculated us from nostalgia. The older we get the more memories we create,and the more susceptible we become to reminiscences. These thought detours announce themselves obscurely. So..... the other day, I have “Morning Joe” on in the background and I hear the term “patently untrue” in regards to some gotcha moment reveal. I start to think... I'm hearing this term a lot lately, but I didn't hear it much when I was young. I then authorize a dissent into the rabbit hole, wondering what has “patently untrue” replaced (if anything) in our evolving lexicon? The hole revealed that “patently untrue” had replaced “categorically false” and I was surprised to notice the slight of hand saddened me a bit.

　

Little had I known “categorically false” left an impression on me as a youth. I grew up in Washington DC, and as one could imagine, there was no shortage of scandal in the nations capital. I was an avid reader of both the Post and the Star, Marion Barry was our mayor, and Ronald Reagan was our president. The 80's were a tempest for corruption.

　

I had no clue “categorically false” was hijacked til I got the ransom note from “patently untrue.”

On it's face “categorically false” does leave a little to be desired. If one is accused of several misdeeds and his/her rebuttal is to deny them categorically it could be reasoned as an admission of one or more of the misdeeds.

　

But... did “categorically false” need to be replaced? And furthermore is this “New Coke” better than “Original Coke?

　

This new fangled Y2K version “patently untrue” feels a bit cold. It's an admission to nothing. It's childish. I wouldn't be surprised to discover its origins were rooted in the canon of Pee Wee Herman's “I know you are but what am I?”

　

I've never embraced the word "untrue" because it feels abstract. It's akin to asking someone if they liked something and they respond "kinda." WTF does "kinda" mean. Either you liked it or you didn't like it. It's the crutch we use when we haven't decided, we don't want to offend, or we don't know where the line of questioning is leading. We say "kinda" so there won't be consequence. "Untrue" feels like that to me.

“Patently Untrue” basically asserts “YOU made up these allegations AGAINST ME because you are trying to destroy me.”

　

It's the “Dynasty” “Dallas”  and “Falcon Crest” of DENIALS !!!!!

　

Not even an admission that "something" happened. No nuance, no dichotomy, and no HE SAID/SHE SAID. It's as if the event (in their mind) never happened. Where is the fun in that?

So just know that anytime I hear the term "patently untrue" my mind auto-corrects it to "categorically false"!!!!